With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Happy Birthday to Me, Mr. President: Or 365 Days Until I Recieve My AARP Card.

(I persuaded the Make-A-Wish foundation to arrange for Marilyn Manson to serenade me for my birthday. She just left and she looks nothing like the picture. An extraordinary let down.)

On Saturday night I met a buddy of mine for a drink at the local pub. In the course of our discussion, focused on how to end global poverty, I made mention of the fact that we always get stuck with the same old waitress.

He asked if I hadn't noticed that the high concentration of hot waitresses and hot patrons were located in the front at the bar, by the main entrance. And that we sat in this section because I always ask for it.

"But there is a draft by the main entrance," I said.

And this was all before 12:01 A.M. this morning when I advanced another year. Which strongly suggests that by the end of this week I will be unable to go womanizing without wearing a shawl.

But that's O.K. the best writers don't achieve greatness when they are young and strong, but when they are old and frail and even the thickest shawls won't protect them from the gentlest breezes.

366 days until greatness.


Thought for the Day
Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.
James Thurber

See Also:

Justin's Birthday 2006.

Concept of Irony's Birthday 2006.

19 comments:

Garry Evens said...

You should go with a smoking jacket instead.

Justin said...

Garry, I know you have the purest of intentions, but some of us do care about what we look like.

j.

maleah said...

Happy Birthday, Justin.

I'm pretty sure I'm older than you and I can't get a discount on Tuesdays much less an AARP card.

Anonymous said...

"Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man."

But what about BOYS?
They're men too, but they can't expect to grow to old age until they have grown up and beyond manhood!

What say you?

Anonymous said...

And a Happy Birthday to my 9th fave philosopher!

Justin said...

Anonymous,
I have to admit that when Jacques Derrida died, I thought "that makes me #9 in Anonymous' list."

It was cruel and heartless but obviously whatever the Realpolitick equivalent of guessing where you stand with other people.

J.

Justin said...

anony,

Curse those first 8--they must all be analytical philosophers.

Anyway, a boy can't grow old, as by definition a boy is under 18, and old age is agt least over 21.

I deserve to be number 7.

j.

Justin said...

Maleah,

In ascending chronological order:

1)Maleah
2)Mountains
3)Hills
4)Justin



j.

Anonymous said...

Yes, that was me both times.

So, you're saying that I cannot have dead people among my favorites?
If so, then you move down to #2 on my list.

Losing out only to Jeff Foxworthy.

Anonymous said...

"Roomba" is German for "Happy Birthday Justin!"

Comrade Kevin said...

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

Justin said...

Comrade K,

SAY WHAT ABOUT A HERNIA??

j.

Justin said...

Curtis,
I am sorry to report that amazon may be running a roomba deal for just $69.00 tomorrow.

j.

Justin said...

Anonymous,
Better not change the dead people criteria.

My birthday has reminded me I have but a few years till I join that list.

Lindz said...

Are you ignoring me becuase i forgot about your birthday again??

Lindz said...

Are you ignoring me becuase i forgot about your birthday again??

Your word verifications are too difficult.

Rachel said...

I'm a bad friend. I missed your b-day.

Too_Lively said...

I am late to pay birthday homage to the fair Justin, so I will just compliment the shawl.

That is a LOVELY shawl! You look fabulous, darling.

Anonymous said...

James Thurber was the author of "A Thurber Carnival" which is a wildly entertaining and grossly under acknowledged piece of theater.