With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Interview # 2 Timothy, Consultant in Counter Dis-Intelligence.

(In a continuing effort to show that Justin isn’t only concerned with himself, COI presents another interview with a person who isn’t Justin.)

Q. For those who aren’t in the know, describe your job.
A. Like an Intelligence Agent, I provide information. Unlike those in agencies like the CIA, we mean to pass out wrong, misleading information.

Q. Would you say that you know the truth behind the lies?
A. No. I just make up the lies. You don't need to know the truth in my line.

Q. But what if you say things that are true without meaning to?
A. Than another consultant would cover it up.

Q.And you work for some sort of Government Agency?
A. Or do I?

Q. How realistic is what we see on 24?
A. Completely accurate. Not a single one of our agents works for that show.

Q. Wait, are you just saying the opposite of what you really mean?
A. The application and selection process for my job is incredibly difficult. The training is intense. We don’t simply go around pretending like it is opposite day.

Q. What is your favorite part of the job?
A. Opposite day.

Q. What is the worst part of your job.
A. Not opposite day. Which isn't today, actually.

Q.I'd like to ask you a question prompted by my recent survey. What would you make of someone who picked Matlock when given the choice of House, Jack Bauer or Frylock.
A. That sounds like a typical maneuver of someone working at the highest levels of counter dis-information.

Q. Responding with an option that wasn't given?
A. No. Talking about Matlock.

Q. What is it with kids these days and Matlock? When did Andy Griffith became a Cult Figure? What about the increased incidence of kids trying to solve crimes? High School kids forming little gangs calling themselves, "The Bens" and wearing ultra conservative suits and white wigs and refusing to tip or spend a dime? Have the youth of today really forgotten Columbo?
A. If I told you that, you would understand Everything.

Q. It has been a pleasure. If you know anyone else I can interview, anyone who is not me, please send them my way. I thank you for your time.
A. What time?

10 comments:

QuillDancer said...

Timothy isn't very good at his job. All of his information was 100% factual. I mean, with this line -- "Unlike those in agencies like the CIA, we mean to pass out wrong, misleading information." -- was he trying to imply anyone in our government would actually lie to us or in any other way deliberately manipulate facts? That's just absurbed.

Comrade Kevin said...

Ooooh, that's why I had such a hard time with that survey yesterday. I kept reading the first question and this little voice inside my head kept saying Columbo! But it wasn't a choice!

If only I was brave enough to step outside the box like some of these commenters.

Justin said...

Quilly,You mean today really isn't opposite day? J.

Justin said...

Comrade K, Always trust the voices inside your head. Timothy said so. J.

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

I have many voices in my head. One of them is a psychiatrist and she tells me I'm okay.

QuillDancer said...

Justin, I can never keep track of what day is which, so I just assume that what ever day G. Dubya gives a speech must be opposite day.

Finding Fair Hope said...

This is outrageous. It suggests that there are people out there obfuscating in public. I think I'll contact the local authorities and have it corrected right away. Just as you must remove the spammer from your blog at once.

Justin said...

finding fair hope: What spammer? j.

Finding Fair Hope said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
goldennib said...

Huh?