With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006


One of my closest friends in the world introduced me to the fast paced world of surveys. It took me awhile, but I've finally responded.

Here's what you do. Post your answers on the comments page. I’ll analyze your personality (if applicable) and than create a folder and put in my crime lab just in case.

1) Dr. House, Jack Bauer or Frylock?

2) Suppose the Gallup Poll is chasing you. They desperately want to know about the satisfaction level of your job. What vegetable, would you morph into to evade them?

3) More or Less Cowbell (This is NOT a trick question.) If you answered incorrectly, just stop, O.K.?

4) Girl?
If yes, Unrelated To Me?
If yes, Straight?
If yes, Single?
If yes, Rich?
If yes, Really Low Standards?
If yes, Refund Me For the Remaining Weeks of My Eharmony Subscription?
If yes, You Had Said Yes, To Really Low Standards, Right?
If yes, Hey.
If Hey, phone#?

5) Where were you the first time you forgot your toothbrush and so had to brush your teeth using your Index finger?

6) Tetanus Shot or Rabies’ Shot?

7) “This sentence is False.” True or False

8) Do you do oil paintings? If so, how much would it cost to have a portrait done? (as Zeus—I don’t know if that affects the cost.)

9) I have a lily pad that doubles in size every day. If it takes 60 days to fill half of the pond in the pond room of my penthouse, how long does it (the lily pad) take to fill the whole pond in my pond room (Cheating is most decidedly not allowed on this question. )

10) Fill in the blanks, “Whistling scrap metal is to magical world peace as ______________ (6 letters) is to ________________________ (8 letters).”

11) Want a really big lily pad?

12)Least favorite fraction: ¾, 24/32, or 48/64 (This is a trick question.)


O.K. Now if you have read this you must pass it on to five thousand other friends, or the Curse of the Mummy is Going to Bring you Ebola and when you get treated for it instead of being taken to the hospital, you are going to be taken to that room where they keep the Ark (Cf. Raiders of the Lost Ark) and instead of treating you they are going to just open up the Ark and then you are going to have all those crazy swirly things coming at you and when the swirly scary things are done with you, they are going to go after your friends and your family and your political and religious affiliations and eat your pets!

So definitely pass it on and Thanks again to Jean for providing us with a wonderful time!


QuillDancer said...

1.) Dr. House
2.) garlic (wards off evil)
3.) more (never question Bruce Dickenson
4.) Yes No Unlisted
5.) The Witness Protection Program has forbidden me to answer this question.
6.) Yes
7.) False (Justin asked it, ergo, it doesn't exist.)
8.) No, but I'd learn for 100K
9.) 61 days
10.)Justin - lucidity
11.) Not of the Frog Prince comes with it.
12.) 2.25
13.) never take them

anybody who reads this, consider yourself tagged -- the curse knows who you are ....

Bert Bananas said...

I have been banned by the WSA from taking any survey sanctioned by this world body. Something about Laztheists not having the Right Stuff. I'm assuming you're WSA affliliated, so, alas, though my fingers ache at the sensuous prospect, I mustn't provoke the powers that be.

Rut if you're a rogue surveyist, plesse use a suitable code to let me know.

goldennib said...

1) While Frylock is hot, Dr. House has the appropriate crankiness.

2) Celery, because everyone avoids celery.

3) Definitely more, can’t get enough.

4) Didn’t make it far. Can I submit someone else’s phone number?

5) I use my little finger.

6) Depends on how I feel that day.

7) There’s not question mark, so I think “and” not “or.”

8) I only paint the god Jupiter.

9) You need a gardener.

10) dagger, hopeless

11) Only if frogs come with.

12) 39/52

13) No, thank you, I had some.

Pepper Medley said...

1. Dr. House
2. Artichoke
3. Less
4. Yes Yes
5. In quilldancer's blog
6. It's America. I don't have to choose.
7. Truly False
8. Yes - but it'll cost you a pony
9. 75%
10. masterful - MFA carrying gal poet
11. I have my own, thanks!
12. The answer is obvious
13. My interest in myself is painful

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

1) Shylock, after the pound

2) Karen Ann Quinlan

3) I fear to answer this one because of the Reaper.

4) I've Swyer's Syndrome. You tell me.

5) Watching Johnny Rotten

6) Double 'O'

7) Propositional logic does not "know" whether the sentence is true or false. Truth must be given by us, from outside the system. ...

8) Sure! You will be the swan and Roseanne Barr will be Leda though.

9) Erm, the lonliest number?

10) Too rude I's afraid

11) No

12) Serum, though plasma is abhorent as well.

13) And the survey says...

A.R.P. said...

Oh wow. I've never done of these... um, here goes...

1) Matlock?

2) Ju Ju Fruit.

3) 11.

4) Boy.

5) School.

6) Rabies, for sure.

7) Tralse?

8) No.

9) All night.

10) Grapes is to Syphilis

11) No.

12) It's impossible to dislike any fraction.

13) Plantains?

Jenn said...

1. Hugh Laurie (as Wooster, not House)

2. Bitter gourd (preferably fried with red chilli) (Did you watch Mistress of Spices?)

3. About the same amount as usual.

4. Sex, indeterminate (so I can't answer the other questions, except to state polygamous bisexual).

5. In my PJs.

6. What's wrong with both? The more shots the better, I think. Bang, bang, you're dead!

7. A sentence is neither true, nor false, but thinking makes it so.

8. Would it be a nude? If so, nothing at all. Although I don't oil paint, which may be a problem. But you could model anyway.

9. 3,790 days, 11ty 11 hours and 56 minutes.

10. Doggie, Elephant

11. Lily pads are bad for my complexion. But feel free to have one of your own.

12. My least favourite fraction is 1/3, 1/6. (I hate infinity fractions)

13. Only if they're dipped in black pepper and feature many naked women. And men. As I said, polygamous bisexual.

goldennib said...

Jenn: Hugh Laurie in any British comedy, even the mad king in Blackadder.

Jenn said...

Well pip pip then.

And I meant it to sting!

goldennib said...


Jenn said...

No, no, nothing to be sorry about....I was just pretending to be Bertie. (I love Bertie, maybe even more than I love Jeeves...who is such a deux ex machina, dontcha think?

Ki Two said...

2)Potato (seriously, who would stop for a potato? it blends on the street)
3)More Cowbell!
4)Yes, but pretty high standards.
5)Some friend's house, I'm sure.
6)Tetanus Shot
7)It's true that the sentence is false.
8)I do oil paintings, but I'm not that good at it.
9)61 days, duh.
10)Bonjour, French toast
11)Lily pads are awesome, but only if they come with equally large frogs.
12)The last two are my least favorite, as they are not reduced like they should be. *glares at last two fractions*
13)Well, I did this one, so either I hate myself now or I like surveys. You pick.

sharon said...

I know I'm a little late to this thread, but I think I took something similar from Statistics Canada. That wasn't you by any chance, was it?

Julie said...

1. I don't have a clue who Frylock is but the other two are awesome! House is probably my fav for personality- or lack thereof :P.
2. Spinach so the chances of someone gobbling me up would be slim.
3. I don't think I understand you much at all--- Less?
4. Yes
No ( I can stop now?)
5. My grandma's house
6. Tetnause- I'd rather have stepped on something than had some crazy animal attack me!
7. Very clever! It is truely false :P
i cannot complete because my baby needs me