An Introduction to Yesterday's Post: Justin is Like a Skinnier, More Talkative Version of the Dumb Ox.

Thomas Aquinas is nicknamed, 'The Dumb Ox.' He received the Ox because he was big boned. He received the Dumb, because his classmates often viewed him as a mute.

His teacher, Dan Brown, once famously declared, "Some Day this Ox, will open his mouth and when he does, the whole world will listen."

Dan Brown, as always, was right. Aquinas ended up creating an Oeuvre which is singular in the history of philosophy. One legends attributes his endless creative ability to the ability to dictate to multiple secretaries while sleeping.

No doubt readers will be impressed to learn that I have precisely the same ability.

Only instead of dictating, I ask someone else to guest blog.

And for the sake of efficiency, I like to do this before I even go to bed.

So please enjoy yesterday's post and witness the most ruthlessly, biting attack on pita bread to ever appear in print or on a world class blog.

Good night.

A Portrait of the Blogger as Presented With Fancy Literary Techniques by a Guest Blogger.

By Guest Blogger Alecia.







Justin Kahn. Who is he? The man behind the blog, the guy behind the bookbag, the coffee drinker behind the espresso machine at Caribou. Well folks, I will tell you who he is. In an anagram, and then some. To begin:

J: Jenius. I know this is spelled wrong, but deal with it. It is the “concept of irony” right? Anyway, Justin is very smart. How do I know this? Because he always comes into the coffee shop carrying lots of books and looks very important. He also hardly ever misspells words in his blog, and he knows the trivia at my work some of the time. Ok, I think maybe once he got it right.

U: Unruly, in reference to his hair. Today he told a sad little story about attempting to get it cut, but to no avail. My opinion is to keep it as unruly as possible, but then again, I am only a guest blogger.

S: Sneaky. This guy pops up on you when you least expect it, and he thinks he is sneaky when he posts his blog the day before a Monday, Wednesday, of Friday and just changes the time. WE’RE ON TO YOU BUCKO!

T: Tantrum-throwing. I make this comment because when he can’t find a seat at the coffee shop, he lounges around the counter, making small talk like a normal human being, but I can tell that just below the surface, he is ready to kick someone’s head off if they don’t make room for him by the fireplace. I can just tell, ok?

I: Iliad. I’m sure he has a blog about that book somewhere on this darn information superhighway, because god knows he has one on every other piece of literature known to mankind. Also, I stands for Internet savvy. He’s got the skills, as evidenced by his last blog entry full of links and things. Oh wait, I stands for one more thing. IDIOT! This guy can’t get my name right, calling me things like Armadillo, Alexia, Allison, etc. I know this is in contradiction to the “jenius” section, but Justin is multi-faceted.

N: Nervous that my bookbag is better than his. If anyone reads this blog on a regular basis, you will understand that we do indeed have the same bookbag, but I do not have a name for mine. While he tends to insist that mine is really just a milk-crate with some rope attached, I physically showed it to him today, and I saw him quaking in his boots. Or his penny-loafers. I don’t know what footwear he was sporting.

That is my perception of Justin Kahn. Please keep in mind that I have only come into contact with this man at my place of work, so my perception could be completely wrong.

Oh, and we are best friends.

-Alecia