With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Monday, February 19, 2007

A Portrait of the Blogger as Presented With Fancy Literary Techniques by a Guest Blogger.




By Guest Blogger Alecia.







Justin Kahn. Who is he? The man behind the blog, the guy behind the bookbag, the coffee drinker behind the espresso machine at Caribou. Well folks, I will tell you who he is. In an anagram, and then some. To begin:

J: Jenius. I know this is spelled wrong, but deal with it. It is the “concept of irony” right? Anyway, Justin is very smart. How do I know this? Because he always comes into the coffee shop carrying lots of books and looks very important. He also hardly ever misspells words in his blog, and he knows the trivia at my work some of the time. Ok, I think maybe once he got it right.

U: Unruly, in reference to his hair. Today he told a sad little story about attempting to get it cut, but to no avail. My opinion is to keep it as unruly as possible, but then again, I am only a guest blogger.

S: Sneaky. This guy pops up on you when you least expect it, and he thinks he is sneaky when he posts his blog the day before a Monday, Wednesday, of Friday and just changes the time. WE’RE ON TO YOU BUCKO!

T: Tantrum-throwing. I make this comment because when he can’t find a seat at the coffee shop, he lounges around the counter, making small talk like a normal human being, but I can tell that just below the surface, he is ready to kick someone’s head off if they don’t make room for him by the fireplace. I can just tell, ok?

I: Iliad. I’m sure he has a blog about that book somewhere on this darn information superhighway, because god knows he has one on every other piece of literature known to mankind. Also, I stands for Internet savvy. He’s got the skills, as evidenced by his last blog entry full of links and things. Oh wait, I stands for one more thing. IDIOT! This guy can’t get my name right, calling me things like Armadillo, Alexia, Allison, etc. I know this is in contradiction to the “jenius” section, but Justin is multi-faceted.

N: Nervous that my bookbag is better than his. If anyone reads this blog on a regular basis, you will understand that we do indeed have the same bookbag, but I do not have a name for mine. While he tends to insist that mine is really just a milk-crate with some rope attached, I physically showed it to him today, and I saw him quaking in his boots. Or his penny-loafers. I don’t know what footwear he was sporting.

That is my perception of Justin Kahn. Please keep in mind that I have only come into contact with this man at my place of work, so my perception could be completely wrong.

Oh, and we are best friends.

-Alecia

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Guest Blogger,

Though I thoroughly enjoy your fancy literary technique and witty word play, I don't think Justin thinks this is really an anagram.

But it would make a great cheer if the movie studios ever decide to make Bring It On part IV.

Finding Fair Hope said...

Jenius is not spelled with a "J"?

alecia said...

oops, i'm dumb. anagram sounded like the right word, but it's not. good thing i looked it up AFTER the fact. but what is this called? i know there is some word to describe it... besides amazing.
hmmm...

alecia said...

FIGURED IT OUT!

the word is:

acrostic.

Justin said...

Anonymous,
Almost always I know who anonymous is, but I don't think any of my friends would catch the difference between anagram and acrostic.

Also, I am not personally acquainted with anyone who saw the first Bring it On.

j.

Justin said...

ffh,
Please get it right for when you mention me in your next book!

jdk

Justin said...

arkansas,

Thank you again. Your guest blogging freed me up to do some very important things. Now, I can just comment and bask in the glory.

j.

Justin said...

amulet,
P.S. Sorry. I got a haircut.

alecia said...

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

p.s. do you remember what i said about people who comment on your blog? IT IS TRUE! SEE! but you probably don't remember.

Andres Carl Sena said...

More Alecia please. She seems to know her literature and coffee and men.

Andres Carl Sena said...

More Alecia please. She seems to know her literature, her coffee and her men.

maleah said...

I really enjoyed this guest blogger, Anastasia. So, does Justin really have unruly hair? REALLY? I love unruly hair. Is it sort of curly-ish? I love sort of curly-ish. Einstein had unruly hair but it was way unruly. Hmmm... clever and unruly hair.

ALEXIS MARRERO said...

Do I imagine that he/she should be a gentleman, for that reason I request him/her an advice, do I believe in the freedom, do I believe in god, but do I believe that the dictatorships should disappear, do I believe in the peace but do I believe that he/she would make the war for the freedom, tell me you that I should make?

ALEXIS MARRERO said...

por favor en espaƱol

alecia said...

huh?

also, justin DID have unruly hair, until apparently he cut it, which was a bad move on his part. unruly, clever hair is snazzy.

Jenn said...

Alecia, you seem to be more of a jenius than Justin.

But maybe that's the latte speaking.

(You sure the S isn't for shrinking violet? Or shy? Or synical?)

Christina said...

I knitted Justin an unruly fuzzy hat, so it can substitute in for the current unruliness of his hair.

Christina said...

Oops, I meant ruliness. It's early and I haven't been to the Caribou for my espresso yet.

Comrade Kevin said...

Wait, when did you post this? Isn't this a Tuesday? What day is it? Oh My God, I think I've completely lost track of time!

Justin said...

Comrade K,

I did in fact post this yesterday. But not as early as usual.

It takes me time to cut and paste posts.

j.

Justin said...

Christina,
Are we officially, calling it the carribou, or was that another no-espresso mistake?

j.

Justin said...

jenn, Who is alecia?
j.

Justin said...

Abba,
I would have deleted the spam, but your huh, would be less compelling without those mysterious comments.
j.

alecia said...

you spell caribou wrong every single second of every single day, do you realize that?

also, i tried to make the trivia have something to do with acrostics today.

also, i think you should from now on call this blog "concept of amazingness" due to me having been a guest blogger.

and one more thing, was anonymous YOU, justin?!

-alecia

gledwood said...

is there something I'm missing here? I feel like I've intruded in a private conversation ... I don't know who this Justin is... is he supposed to be famous? ... please explain. I only dropped by quite by chance (pressing "next") you know... anyhow ....

Justin said...

Gledwood,

Well, I guess you don't live in the fourth quadrant of Cleveland Heights.

j.

Jake said...

What's with these guest bloggers?

I will assume the muse of blogging is on vacation...

alecia said...

HAHAHA i basically fell out of my chair laughing at the thought of justin being famous...

that's all i have to contribute to the conversation.

Anonymous said...

Just in. Picture it. On a sign.
Rather than break up his name letter for letter, divide it up a bit.

Why not take a few letters out?

Remove J,u, and t. Now you wonder, is it the "Original" kind?
If so, and it goes untreated the result could be "Extra Crispy".

What does it all mean?

Davon verstehe ich nichts.