With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Monday, October 01, 2007

When Designer Dogs Attack: Part One of a Very Special Three Part Series.

The fact is that my relationship with Leo, the Golden Retriever-Poodle mix that I named after Leo Tolstoy has been strained from the beginning.
It was bad enough that he has been insisting on wearing this stupid collar he got at a thrift shop.
But then on Saturday he only made things worse when he jumped and bit my finger.

I bled a lot and just when I thought I was going to pass out Lindz dropped by.

"I'm dying," I said.

"Have you put on weight? You look fatter. Also, clean your kitchen."

I continued to bleed. Disgusted by the sight of me she left me alone.

So I bled. By myself.

On Sunday, I went to the library.

The librarian inquired about the blood flowing down my arm.

I said it was nothing.

I went to the pet store to buy little doggie shackles and doggie straight jackets.

"Are you O.K.? You are bleeding."

To BE continued....

9 comments:

Shannon R. said...

Just,

You have the SWEETEST little pooch!

Shannon
PS And your dog is cute, too!

Justin said...

shannon r,

I never heard of no joe biden.
But I'll vote for him since the computer told me too.

j

maleah said...

I had no idea Leo was a fan of Elizabethan garb.

Justin said...

m,
I worry that he is going to be a bit loose in the paw, if you know what I mean.

j.

Frank said...

Hey, my cello teacher has one just like that. Actually, it only growls and doesn't wear lamp shades. And it has this funny little esoteric name that I can't remember, just like Leo!

And no, I'm not being constructive.

Anonymous said...

Justin,

Maybe it would do you a little good if Leo was actually the bionic dog.

Lindz

fatboyfat said...

I've got one like that. Well, the collar anyway. He's very thin and tall, and when you press a button on his tail his shrunken spherical head lights up.

He doesn't bark much, it has to be said.

sjs said...

Finished Lobster. Finally. How shall I return it?

Ever yours,

SJS

Anonymous said...

Michael Vick is Cinderella compared to you! I know this is your blogspot, so I apologize, but the housework will probably occur next week. Peace,
TP