With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Monday, October 01, 2007

When Designer Dogs Attack: Part One of a Very Special Three Part Series.

The fact is that my relationship with Leo, the Golden Retriever-Poodle mix that I named after Leo Tolstoy has been strained from the beginning.
It was bad enough that he has been insisting on wearing this stupid collar he got at a thrift shop.
But then on Saturday he only made things worse when he jumped and bit my finger.

I bled a lot and just when I thought I was going to pass out Lindz dropped by.

"I'm dying," I said.

"Have you put on weight? You look fatter. Also, clean your kitchen."

I continued to bleed. Disgusted by the sight of me she left me alone.

So I bled. By myself.

On Sunday, I went to the library.

The librarian inquired about the blood flowing down my arm.

I said it was nothing.

I went to the pet store to buy little doggie shackles and doggie straight jackets.

"Are you O.K.? You are bleeding."

To BE continued....


Shannon R. said...


You have the SWEETEST little pooch!

PS And your dog is cute, too!

Justin said...

shannon r,

I never heard of no joe biden.
But I'll vote for him since the computer told me too.


maleah said...

I had no idea Leo was a fan of Elizabethan garb.

Justin said...

I worry that he is going to be a bit loose in the paw, if you know what I mean.


Frank said...

Hey, my cello teacher has one just like that. Actually, it only growls and doesn't wear lamp shades. And it has this funny little esoteric name that I can't remember, just like Leo!

And no, I'm not being constructive.

Anonymous said...


Maybe it would do you a little good if Leo was actually the bionic dog.


fatboyfat said...

I've got one like that. Well, the collar anyway. He's very thin and tall, and when you press a button on his tail his shrunken spherical head lights up.

He doesn't bark much, it has to be said.

sjs said...

Finished Lobster. Finally. How shall I return it?

Ever yours,


Anonymous said...

Michael Vick is Cinderella compared to you! I know this is your blogspot, so I apologize, but the housework will probably occur next week. Peace,