With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Justin Hopes for Plea Bargain in Illegal Fighting Ring.

My confession is coming at a bad time. First "Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick is waiting to hear if he'll ever play professional football again after agreeing to plead guilty and face prison in his federal dogfighting case."

Now, I am coming forward to admit that I have been fighting my roomba against other roombas, against old fashioned non-robotic vacuums and even local mutts.


The truth is that I have been suffering from a great boredom. I got involved in robotic vacuum fighting in the hopes of seeing something really exciting. But frankly, and I promise this will be the only pun this year, it sucked.

Detractors will say that my confession isn't sincere and that I'm coming forward since a hyperactive puppy ripped a section of my roomba apart leaving the poor vacuum unable to function properly. To these detractors I say, my dog will get you too if you don't shut up.

I feel terrible about not only about my behavior but the impact my actions will have on the children. When I was a kid I could look up to guys like Michael Jordache and I'll never forget him. But today with the likes of Michael Vick and myself I really worry that kids will think that cruelty is a part of being a muscular stud.

And for that I am truly sorry.

28 comments:

Too_Lively said...

You can always come to Dragon Con in Atlanta this year. Now that they welcome pro wrestlers and other such tripe.

maleah said...

The insincere apology is so yesterday. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.

Shannon R. said...

The last time I was in Cuba, a handsome young Cuban local named "EL Cubano, Javier", (I just called him Javi pron. HA-vee), told me that the grinding action we were doing on the dance floor of the Social Club was called "Dee Roomba". And now you're telling me it's a vacuum!?! What the hell?!?

PS Javi; si estas leyendo esto, Te Extrano mucho, mi amor.

aleciaaaaaaa said...

i will email you back soon i am super busy but yeah i wanna see that probably this weekend only if we get popcorn!

Anonymous said...

I can't tell if the Roomba is smiling, or frowning, trying to scare that cute puppy.

Blaux said...

i agree with maleah, after all jail is the new black.

Justin said...

blaux,
I hope you agree with my comment to maleah also.

Because I'm having a hard enough time coming up with a response to her.

j.

Justin said...

a,
Nothing scares that puppy. Except maybe a bath.

j.

Justin said...

abbaaaaaaa,
Are you crazy? Popcorn is only free on mondays.

j.

Justin said...

Maleah,
Judge not lest you be judged. "Don't do the crime..." is so yesterday + five minutes ago.

j.

Justin said...

2 lively,
I had never heard of Dragoncon, so I looked it up on "Google." I'm as confused as ever.

j.

maleah said...

OOOOoooooohhhhh, that was a good answerply.

*theme from 'Baretta' up and under*

linda jean said...

I had no idea. You were one of my heroes. Now, I have less than 10.

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On the dance floor of the Social Club was called "Dee Roomba"....

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Do not be sorry. Your post is really irony. I want popcorn either.it was just fun.

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A hyperactive puppy ripped a section of my roomba apart leaving the poor vacuum unable to function properly.

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Detractors will say that my confession isn't sincere and that I'm coming forward since a hyperactive puppy ripped a section of my roomba apart leaving the poor vacuum unable to function properly.

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this is a robot vacuum. dogs hate vacuums :D

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the grinding action we were doing on the dance floor of the Social Club was called "Dee Roomba".

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I didn't really understood these fights or whows of yours because i think that they are fake and no so interesting...

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