Now, I am coming forward to admit that I have been fighting my roomba against other roombas, against old fashioned non-robotic vacuums and even local mutts.
The truth is that I have been suffering from a great boredom. I got involved in robotic vacuum fighting in the hopes of seeing something really exciting. But frankly, and I promise this will be the only pun this year, it sucked.
Detractors will say that my confession isn't sincere and that I'm coming forward since a hyperactive puppy ripped a section of my roomba apart leaving the poor vacuum unable to function properly. To these detractors I say, my dog will get you too if you don't shut up.
I feel terrible about not only about my behavior but the impact my actions will have on the children. When I was a kid I could look up to guys like Michael Jordache and I'll never forget him. But today with the likes of Michael Vick and myself I really worry that kids will think that cruelty is a part of being a muscular stud.
And for that I am truly sorry.
