(To Read Today's Post, You Will Need:An Index Card. Thank You.)
Justin:
At first I wouldn't write you because when you put that post up titled "Angelineggers" I thought you were casting racial slurs. I cried, I joined the CBC (Congressional Black Caucus) the NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) and even started my own human rights group -IYRASSWPIOTY (If Your Racist Around Shannon She Will Point It Out To You). I've been travelling all over the country making speeches for the last two weeks demanding changes in our mixed up and backwards society. Changes starting with the crazy kamikaze bloggers that offend any and everyone without an ounce of cedibility (sic) and sit above their perfect platinum keyboards tippity tapping away the very souls of people they (in many cases) have never had coffee with since last summer! Tuesday Al Sharpton and I had lunch(See Picture). It seemed that things were really starting to happen.
And, then it occurred to me this morning, that maybe, perhaps, you were actually combining Angelina's name with Dave Eggers last name and not actually racist at all! If this is true, it gives me hope for the future. It means my speeches can come from a place of love and not hate, and more importantly it means that I can tell Jesse Jackson to stop hitting on me and I can FINALLY stop giving Jesse sexual favors in exchange for political clout.
Picture of Shannon Simpson and Jesse Jackson
COI NOTE: I am so sorry first of all to Shannon and then to the most faithful loyal reader (s) in the world. I really meant to photoshop Jesse Jackson's Face over Dave Egger's face. Second, please use your index cards to hold over the Dave Egger portion of the photo and imagine the photo I failed to photoshop.
5 comments:
I thought Shannon Simpson wore Daisy Duke shorts and made pizza commercials and didn't know tuna from chicken and sang sometimes... and here she writes and thinks and does political humor... hmmm... Only she looks more like a human being in this picture. But that is John Mayer right? Or somebody with his hair. They make such a cute couple!
While I do film an occasional commercial for my ex-boyfriend's Aunt's third cousin once removed step sister's husband's pizza shop in Ashtabula, Eatsa Pizza!, (it runs there in the 'Bula at about 2:11 a.m. every 4th Thursday of the month), I do know the difference between chicken and tuna and totally disresemble that remark!
As for the photo, you madam, have a keen eye to note that that is not Jesse Jackson or Dave Eggers, but the Mayer himself. Good eye!
PS -The few photos that exist of Jesse and I, I am not smiling.
J. - instead of an index card I just closed my eyes and pictured Shannon Simpson in daisy duke shorts and Angelineggers dressed like Laura Croft. They weren't making out or anything because I didn't want to sully your blog. But, I dare say, there may have been some slightly inappropriate touching involved.
Sorry about that.
P.S. Angelineggers had John Meyer's hair. That was kinda wierd. Not sure where that came from.
NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY!
Your right, your right. That was highly inappropriate. I deserve to be chastised and I humbly apologize.
In my defense, however, I would just like to mention that a certain blog author knows that a certain avid reader of his fore-mentioned blog has a filthy mind. Posting a possibly suggestive picture then telling that reader to quote unquote "use your imagination" is tantamount to giving a young boy a magnifying class and an anthill. You know something is gonna happen and you know it ain't gonna be pretty.
so... yea.
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