With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Lawn Update to End All Lawn Updates.

Ever since I won your hearts with my post on how hard it is to mow the lawn literally two of you have written to ask how my lawn is doing.

The truth is, my lawn is doing incredibly well.

Ever since I realized this was not the lawnmower:


Turns out I was trying to mow my lawn with a giant block of concrete attached to some metal pipes. Today, I decided this is a terrible way to mow the lawn. I also grew curious about what magical tool my parents had left me.

I called and asked my Dad what the concrete thing with metal pipes is.

"That's a lawn mower, son."

"Could I talk to Mom?"

"Mom, what is the concrete thing in my garage?."

"It is a wheel. Your great grandfather invented it."

"Wow. Like a piece of history."

"That's right. Just don't try to mow your lawn with it. Your Dad did once, and killed all the grass. The neighbors were ruthless."

20 comments:

maleah said...

Fred Flintstone wants his mower back.

alecia said...

just get a goat.
and p.s. i got a new job on lee rd.

Taihae said...

I agree with alecia, let a goat haul that thing around. you're far too important a man to waste time on menial labour.

alecia said...

i meant let the goat eat the grass, haha.

Justin said...

abc's,
I wish I could believe you about the new job,but I went by Carrrrribou when you said there would be free coffee. There was no such thing. I had to drink what I hope was water from a puddle.

j.

Justin said...

taihae,
Unfortunately my goat allergy is stronger than my allergy to work.
j.

Justin said...

M,

Nicely played. But I know. He called me on my prehistoric bird.

j.

Taihae said...

yes, alecia. I know. I r making jokes, you might say.

Justin said...

tai,
'are' the verb is different then r the number.

Your sentence shoul have read, I are making jokes...

Even blogs deserve r best grammar and wordification.

j.

Taihae said...

I r ashamed. canu evr furgive mi kthx bye? LOLzz

Shannon said...

This has nothing to do with your grandfather's invention that my black grandfather actually invented first even though your grandfather has been taking all the credit for all these years.
But, in the Jolie post how come no one noticed President Palmer casually hanging with his hand in his pocket behind Jolie?
It's a Sign! No, no, no, I got it all wrong, it's actually a message to ME!

Where the eff did I put that decoder ring...

-S

Frank said...

I have reason to believe that at least two of your commentators are in continual states of intoxication.

maggie said...

I know how you figured out how to mow your lawn... you had me do it.

alecia said...

i talked to maggie tonight and she totally mowed that lawn of yours, or so she said. i'm drunk woohooooooooooooooooooooo.

Justin said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaa,
Where on lee?

j.

Justin said...

maggie,
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH

j

Justin said...

frank,
I know that is my best bet for getting people to like me.

Let me know if you want a bottle of something.

j.

Justin said...

Shannon,

I hear you are going to guest blog again.

j.

maggie said...

oops... oh, i mean you did it all by yourself

p.s. you should have me do it again... i have plenty of time now that i am unemployed!

alecia said...

stone oven joint