With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Friday, June 01, 2007

"I grow old … I grow old … I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled."--Rosie O'Donnell

As I approach my 30th Birthday (November 19, 2008) I have begun seriously thinking about my rapidly fading legacy as a comic genius.

It has been pretty rough on me, moving from the 4th quadrant where I ruled as amongst the top bloggers (upper 25th percentile, to be precise)to the 5th quadrant where I am less than nothing (-25 percentile, to be precise).

That's why I need encouragement wherever I can get it.

I thought I was going to get in my inbox when my mom called and said she was going to email me a picture of her and her favorite comic genius.

Sounds good, I said. And I waited for one of the pictures from my parent's going away party. Of my Mom. And me. Obviously me.


What I got was this picture. As I immediately realized that neither of the people is me, I put the picture through Concept of Irony's Face Recognition Software.

Turns out the lady on the right is my mother.

The gentleman on the left is Colin Mochrie of Whose Line is It Anyways.

Well beloved readers, half of whom kick me while I'm single, I spent $45,000 on face recognition software to learn that I'm not my mom's favorite comedian.

And the other half would rather be reading Mr. Mochrie's blog.

20 comments:

Brian said...

Colin Mochrie shops at Target? What a target of mockery.

bitingblondewit said...

I did not kick while you're still single. I merely suggested that Dwight may be holding you back. Silly man! What ever happened to that over-caffeinated barista? You should ask her out! (Plus, I hear Audrey is dating someone now.)

taihae said...

hahahhaa, passive aggressive much, blondey? though seriously, that girl did disappear. did you switch coffee shops, j? and I'm seeing a trend of nonexistant kicking paranoia here. so far you've been kicked while you were down and single...whats next? comatose? republican? lightly toasted?

bitingblondewit said...

I'm not passive-aggressive, I'm sly. And I'm "kicking" Justin for his own good. Instead of dragging a bobble head around, he should be worried about giving his mother some grandchildren.

goldennib said...

It's hard to compete with Colin; he's so squiggy looking and that's half the funny battle.

Justin's Mom said...

I knew I liked that biting blonde.

Anonymous said...

Rosie quote? Please...far from it. T.S. Eliot's The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.

taihae said...

colin always does the best stuff with the big novelty hats, its true. Kids suck, though, really - I should know, i was one. justin....did you kill alecia? i wouldnt ask, only she hasnt been around lately and henry plant is looking REALLY healthy...

Misha said...

I don't think Alecia and Justin would work out. He can't even get her name right.

My word verification letters were "huuuei" for this post. I just thought you'd like to know that.

Justin said...

Misha,

Modern women. Grrrrr.

j.

Justin said...

taihae,
I get accusations of murder all the time b/c of my healthy plants. But in fact I just use a fertilizer that is made from worm poop.

j.

Justin said...

anonymous,

I understand why you MIGHT think it is T.S. Eliot but the difference between the two is so negligible that I hardly think it worth making a correction.

j.

Justin said...

justin's mom,
so to recap your favorites are

1) Colin
2)Biting Blonde
3)Lisa
4)James Bond
5) Me.

Cool.
j.

Justin said...

golennib,

Give me ten years!
j.

Justin said...

bbw,
Seriously, those distinctions are extraordinary. You should definitely go to law school. After you make me a patio.

j.

Justin said...

Brian,
Nicely played. But could you recast the pun in the form of an exotic picture?

j.

alecia... not a difficult name, justin! said...

i'm alive!

bitingblondewit said...

The barista is back! Justin, ask her out quick, before she gets away. Henry needs a brother...

Could I just knit you a patio?

Taihae said...

whatever, its not really her...justin is covering his tracks, clever boy.

alecia said...

it is meeeee!