With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Where Are They Now? Special Edition: Guest Blogger, Mr. Anonymous.









Mr. Anonymous, pictured here at Justin Kahn's 84th birthday bash, was once the corner stone of the lower fourth quadrant of Cleveland Heights guest bloggers. During the height of his popularity he had achieved a near mythical Machiavellian connection to readers becoming a figure both loved and feared. His jaunty red bow tie caused many a woman to swoon with adoration while his heavy drinking problem sent many a man on a course of irreversible liver damage.


Then suddenly, and some say tragically, in December of 2006 he vanished never again to grace the pages of COI. What happened to this controversial figure that so inflamed the hearts of readers for 3 or 4 weeks in the fall of 2006?

We hired the crack investigative team from Commies with Credit Cards to investigate and after several months of binge drinking, angry sex, and lucid dream states we have found an answer.

Celebrity Bear Boxing


Like many bears on the downside of the celebrity circuit, the fall of fame came hard to Mr. Anonymous. His last match broadcast payperview RCTV (Robot Chicken TV) against the infamous heavy weight contender, Paddington "The Mauler" Bear, left him with a broken spine and some lost stuffing. His physical therapist remains confident for a full recovery with the hopes that someday this once star can rise again to the admiration and loathing of bloggers everywhere (in the lower section of the fourth quadrant of the Cleveland Heights area.)

14 comments:

spambot said...

Stop bear-baiting you.

Mind Curry said...

mr.anonymous is right here with me now..hes doing yoga. i will send you some snaps soon.

i understand the concept of irony very well now. this is one of my most favorite blogs, but yet i am able to visit only once in a month...what an irony!

amazingly awesomeness said...

want to smoke some crack later, justin? just wondering!

Justin said...

albino anvil,
No, but thanks. I have asthma.
j.

Justin said...

mind curry,
Take good care of Mr. Anonymous. He needs to get back in shape.

See you in a month,
j.

Justin said...

spambot,

That's interesting. Rather than sell stuff, now you offer life advice?
j.

maleah said...

The Comrade lives and breathes? And finds lost, drunken bears? That sexy Commie. Ooooh, do a blog on The Comrade. "The True Bloggywood Story: The Comrade."

Justin said...

maleah, it cost me an enormous sum to get Comrade K, to write this episode.

You know how very hard it is to find yourself. Comrade K, would rightly ask for an even greater fee to track down himself.

j.

maleah said...

I do know. I'm trying to find myself right now. It's obvious that I'm lost, too.

Comrade Kevin said...

That Paddington Bear is a machine. I saw his match against Teddy Ruskpin. It was pure carnage. That poor bear still has a facial twitch and a speech impediment.

We can be b..b..b..b..best friends!

Christina said...

I had a Teddy Ruxpin when I was a tot. He suffered some light physical abuse at the hands of one of my friends and developed a lazy eye that would swing back and forth when he talked. It was creepy.

Taihae said...

My favorite Paddington moment was that time on WWF Raw when Grubby was down from an off the rope body slam and Paddy pulled off his wee little yellow wellington boot real slow and then systematically and brutally pummeled that freak of nature till the ref had to interfere.

Eye of the tiger.

by the way, jus, I think I might make my temporary retirement permanent...thought it might be best to break it to you now.

spambot said...

Yes. I offer life advice.

I sell advice.

For free.

I am the epitome of good spambots.

Mind Curry said...

i know its not been a month..but i just couldnt resist..