With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Honesty is the Best Policy.

I guess a lot of you have read these cyber pages and have been in awe of my glamorous life. No doubt, at the center of your envy has been the luxuriant life I live in the penthouse. How many times you must have wished you were me, writing high above the 4th quadrant of {Edited Out B/C of Recent Security Threats.)



But the fact is the Penthouse is not the dream castle I have made it out to be.

In fact it is a dump. And all of my friends are nuts.

This is very painful for me to admit, but if there is one thing that this blog is about it is complete and total honesty. And I would be lying to you if I maintained this facade of a perfect and wonerful life. I am coming to understand that what I want is normality.

I wish very much that instead of living in a garbage can, perched on top of a building, that I had a real home. And a dog. And a wife. And 2.5 kids. And, what's the average?, like three and a half mistresses.

Probably my living conditions are still way better than yours but not as much as I have always implied. I'm sorry for misleading.

I want there to be nothing but honesty between us. And if you ever need a place to stay, Mi Can et Tu Can.

13 comments:

alecia said...

penthouses are lame anyway. dorm rooms are where it's at. oooooh yeah. white, cinderblock walls and a communal bathroom. woohoo.

Christina said...

Hey, communal bathrooms are awesome. Just wait 'till you have to clean your own bathroom.

Or worse, just wait 'till you have to clean your own bathroom, AND have a roommate who never flushes the toilet for the entire time you live together. My boyfriend once experienced this trauma personally, and I do not envy him in the slightest.

maleah said...

Uh, just wait until you have a family that never flushes or cleans the toilet. You will tolerate this until you lose your mind or can hire domestic help. Domestic help. Funny. In Texas they are not from here. So, threaten your husband with HIS VERY LIFE if he does not sit to pee, and tell your kids over and over and over and over to PLEASE FLUSH THE DA.. um toilet. Or hire a cleaning lady. If you can afford it. Or divorce your husband. For other reasons that you found on his computer. And keep the house. Uh, was that too much of the best policy?

Justin said...

ABBA,
Well, that' just great, b/c I don't live in a dorm. Anyway, if the rats count, mine is a communal bathroom. WHOYAHHHH.

j.

Justin said...

Lord Warhammer:
Aren't you in flordia or something?

Well, if you and Misha the impaler are back, than I will have a little talk with her about flushing the toilet. Sorry for the inconvenience.

j.

Justin said...

maleah,

You know, your comment makes me feel pretty good about having an outhouse.

Domestic (in the sense of interior to the house) servants wouldn't even be helpful and frankly the outhouse doesn't even come with fancy flushing technology.

j.

Spambot said...

Three and a half mistresseses Humbert?

Justin said...

Nicely played, Quilty.

But ummm, I was thinking maybe short, but certainly by no means underage.

j.

Clare Quilty said...

I'm short.

maleah said...

Hey, I'm short, too.

Justin said...

One down, two and half (ish) to go!

Now, I think I will call the APL.
j.

jake said...

What about your January 10th post?

Ki Two said...

Can I be half of one of your mistresses? I think the fun part would be if you got me and another half mistress together. Maybe we'd be like half-elves or half-orcs (oh my!). :)