With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Monday, January 29, 2007

what IS wrong with Justin?

I think this is the question on everyone's mind. My health has been getting worse since the initial sty in the eye problem. Not only my physical health, but my mental health: Once again, I have the strangest feeling that I am being pursued by Rats (What up Rat Fest Participants '07!)

Because I take my health seriously, I decided to watch several episodes of House before doing anything else.

And than I saw precisely what must be done. Differential Diagnostic People.

A Differential Diagnostic is pretty easy, if you are really brilliant. All you have to do is write symptoms on the board. Then you write all of the possible causes. Then you decide which cause explains the symptoms.

It was a kind of difficult process, but I eventually figured out that I have fibromyalgia. According to the most authoritative reports from wikipedia,this disease is characterized by "a wide range of other symptoms."

While I am developing most of the symptoms, I am optimistic. If my mind can solve this medical mystery, there is no telling the hidden powers it has.


Ki Two said...

These Monday entries just sneak in at the crack of the day, don't they?

I'm sorry to hear that you have fibromyalgia. I hope that clears up pretty soon.

Eat more lycopene.

Maleah said...

I see a new show in the works for NBC in here somewhere. Adjunct professor looking for love, raising a plant, er, child, on his own, overcoming physical obstacles with nearly heroic aplomb. Make sure you get some sort of credit and royalties if not a starring role, Justin.

Justin said...

ki two,

But seriously, I wanted to sleep last night but I couldn't so I wrote.

I guess my fibromyalgia is presenting itself in the form of insomonia.


Justin said...

Two days ago I would have explained that I don't want to sacrifice my artistic integrity for fame and success.

Today, I am telling NBC that you are my acting agent.

Get me big bucks.

And fame.


Comrade Kevin said...

Maybe that's not really a sty in your eye (after all, some sty's can hold up to 50 pigs), maybe it really is a rat. It sure would explain a lot of things, or at least two things, at once.

Have you tried resting a rat trap on your nose before you go to bed at night? Maybe you can trick it to come out of your eye.

P.S. Use Gruyere.

Blaux said...

Are you sure this isn’t a reaction to your recent exposure to talent less singers, talking presidents and rude English judges? Also, I think you need to go to your penthouse and look for any biologicals that could be causing your symptoms. Hopefully you will figure all this out tomorrow night.

Sassy Sundry said...

Dwarfism. I think you aren't giving enough credit to Dwarfism.

Justin said...

I am 5 foot 10 inches and one half. Practically 6 feet. Plus also, I wear jeans.


Justin said...


Just like the house crew, I broke into my home without my knowledge.

I was to afraid of a potential rat to look very carefully, though.


Anonymous said...

Your blog entertains me when I have long lunch breaks. I miss funny people. I'm glad you are still writing.

Taihae said...

whats the clinical name for delusions of grandeur? I'd say it must be that except for the fact that you're wearing jeans and your handwriting is FAR too good.

Taihae said...

whats the clinical name for delusions of grandeur? I'd say it must be that except for the fact that you're wearing jeans and your handwriting is FAR too good.

Kurt said...

How does the color-coding help?

Justin said...

Oh, I don't know: How does medication help?

Or like those sharp things on trays?

Maybe you don't believe in them either?


Justin said...

I'm sorry, I just read over the previous reply and I definitely over reacted.

My markers kept running out.


Justin said...


The clinical name is Todd. I think of a latin origin.

Though I wear jeans, you must forgive me for being unable to work in a J. Buckley reference. I will have to add that to my diagnostic board.


Justin said...


May you have longer and more frequent lunch breaks & less dull people in your life.


Too_Lively said...

Maybe your Russian bride will bring some knowledge of home remedies with her. I think they still use hot irons to sear and set sties in the smaller villages where the old wisdom still endures.

XxXx said...

I love that board, such a great idea lol>

Lindz said...

You are absolutely ridiculous.

Justin said...

Andrius Susinskas,
Because it is medical equipment, it cost me a grand. But I'll 'give it away' for half that. Let me know if you are interested.


Justin said...

2 lively,
The Old Wisdom still endures in my neck of the woods: That is why I am treating severe carpel tunnel with magic rocks.


Justin said...

Ladies and Gentleman....Lindz. My Great back up Plan for Happiness.