With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Justin vs. Predator

There is an evil that has arisen in this world. Before I can address that problem on Friday I must purify myself, by making a confession.


As a Cinephile I have spent many hours watching and discussing the Predator.

For years, I maintained that if I ever faced the Predator in the Jungle, or of late in the penthouse, I would totally crush the super-powerful alien.

The fact is that I am a very fragile, sensitive soul who might not be able to win a showdown with an animal who has the power to make himself invisible and is a trained killer.

I always thought it would be so easy. I thought I could just leave little poison pellets for the predator to eat as a yummy snack. But what if after the first two nights not a single one of the pellets have been touched so you start thinking, the predator is willing to die rather than eat the yummy snacks you left behind. Or maybe he knows.

So the predator is either willing to die for his cause or he is just plain too smart for your clever snacks-of-poison-trick.

Hoping to tempt him, you buy more expensive, gourmet, poison food. And that doesn't work for the third night.

Now you are looking for stuff like cavier poison prepared by the take home chef. There doesn't appear to be an immediate solution.

I do have other tricks up my sleeve and I believe that I will win.

But with Henry to care for, the idea that my victory might be only slight, causes me some concern.

14 comments:

Justin said...

Ki Two:
That's right. The crack of dawn.

j.

Taihae said...

The best thing to do when faced with predator is to look as non threatening and un-armed as possible. they're too honorable to take out pussies with no weapons. Then, continue with your poison caviar hijinks. Although, we dont really know what predators eat. Its like how you never see a cat take a shit. They must eat SOMETIMES.

Maleah said...

Why don't you read aloud some medieval literature for hours on end and the predator will either die or leave. Well, or kill you. Sort of like a roommate might.

part-time buddha said...

what are we to make of the fact that in the middle of your confession you slip from 1st to 2nd person?

Miss Lippy said...

The predator has a weakness for shiny objects. Try wrapping the poison pellets in tin foil!

MacK said...

Socratic dialectic in a confused Keanu Reeves voice on why the predator doesn't exist. The predator's brain should then explode like the aliens in that most profound of movies 'Mars Attacks'. Of course, my first reaction tends to end tragically, so I leave the choice to you.

algelic said...

Yay! You watched "House"! You gained my respect.

I'm kinda confused as to what your post was about... are you building a mousetrap or something? LOL

By the way... Justin "Reads" a lot.

Justin said...

algelic:

Not only do I watch house, but I show it in class.

Justin says he reads a lot, but mostly he waatches House.

I bet 2 lively will be supriseed to see you came by.
j.

Justin said...

mack, the predator must exist! As evidenced by the subtle genius he displays in evading all of my traps. j.

Justin said...

Miss Lippy,

I ended up trying your idea, but I have a weakness for shiny objects. I ate all of the pellets, and then went chasing after a girl with dangling earings.
j.

Justin said...

p-t b,

I raise a very good point.

We teach writing but they are not so good with pronouns.

Sorry. If She could tell you a rule him would appreciate it.

j-d k

Justin said...

maleah,
I'll give it a try, but if the rat becomes a world renown chaucer scholar, I will have only you to blame.

j.

Justin said...

taihae,

I have watched the Predator many times and seriously doubt that they eat either cats or their poo poo.


j.

Orhan Kahn said...

The predator can be taken out quite easily, but due to my neverending affection for the spieces I will not share my secrets ;)