I received this email yesterday:
My name is irina, I am from Russia and I want to find my second half. Do you still believe in love? Please, tell me more about you: irina@myladiesmails.net
I feel all nervous and confused but I have been trying to write a letter back to her. I'm pretty sure that this is going to end up like one of those great epistolary romances, so I wanted all my dearest friends and crazy internet stalkers to read about it from the very beginning.
Hey Irina,
Sorry it took me so long to respond, but my eye has been causing me great pain.
What makes you think I stopped believing in love? I'm kind of cynical but that doesn't mean I stopped believing in Love. The only reason I have a shirt with the Groucho Marx saying that "Marriage is a great institution. But who wants to live in an institution?" is that I like Groucho Marx.
Well I guess I told you about my belief in Love and about my life--or at least my wardrobe! Is there anything else you want to know?
Sorry I can't write more but my eye is hurting again.
Tell me more about you. How many languages do you speak?
Write soon.
Justin
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19 comments:
How thoughtful of you to include your crazy internet stalkers on this momentous occasion. You should tell her how much your net worth is in rubles; I bet she'd be impressed if you demonstrated knowledge of her culture.
Miss Lippy,
I don't deal in gems, just cold cash!
But other than that I think that she will be impressed with my knowledge of her culture.
j.
i get it. You're trying to make me jealous again, aren't you? grow up, justin. honestly.
I love Heloise, too. She sure knows how to get stains out of stuff. I've never gotten Abelard on anything. Try some of that Oxi Stain Remover.
taihae?
I'm the one that needs to grow up? At least I don't eat my own boogers, O.K.?
Anyway, I had no intention of making you jealous. I just thought that the grandeur of my post would inspire you to blog again
j.
m:
After my extensive google research I have determined you are making a reference to a good housekeeping hotline.
And I have to say that the Heloise Helpline inspires in me, Romantic Thoughts as strong as those brought forth by the so-so romantic story, I was actually referring to.
j.
You're deep. You didn't even ask her about her boobies.
Sniff. That was beautiful.
I dont think eating other people's is any more laudable, darling, so don't think you're banking on a technicality. And maybe if you commented ANY other time than when I stopped, I may have just been able to reach deep inside the pitted recesses of my soul found the will to continue.
Justin -- I see that you are on your way to a bright and shining new future. Congrats.
Oh, and make yourself a nice hot cup of tea, then use the warm (not hot tea bag as an eye compress. I think you'll appreciate the results.
quilly,
Since I only drink iced tea that may be a problem.
Anyway I am glad to see that you left the paranthesis open so that you will have to come back another day to close it-- In spite of the fact that I haven't commented on your blog in just a tad over three months.
j.
taihae,
O.K. I want to call a truce.
Because though you called me out, all I would have to do is provide this link:
http://taihae.blogspot.com/2007/01/straying-from-flock.html
to demonstrate that beyond a doubt I commented on your blog before the last post.
Truce?
I Know We Could Be So Happy Baby(If We Wanted To Be),
j.
Kate's,
You detect beauty through your nose?
Weird.
I bet you would be in heaven if you dropped by the Chipotle by me.
j.
sassy,
My depths are way deep.
Plus, I'm hoping she kind of has a lot of money.
Maybe I'm just getting greedy.
awww, I can't stay mad at you, shnookums. give us a kiss!
TALK TO ME ABOUT PHILOSOPHY!!!
and do you exist only on the internet?
art,
I don't even exist on the internet.
Plus were do you work now?
j.
i work at the same place as before... and i will be brewing up some beverages tomorrow night!
I think Irina may be Jubrili in disguise. However, that means both wealth and beauty, so you're one lucky sucker.
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