With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?


Know what I'm saying?

Some of you may remember Lindz, the one great back up plan, of my lonely singleness.

Eventually I called it off.

But Lindz has been pushing for a Cameo. Sometimes authors are forced by their reading public and/or pushy neighbors to bring back a much loved character. My situation almost exactly parallels one of the most famous examples: When Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (i.e. Today, me) brought back Sherlock Holmes (Hmm, still me) from the dead after falling off a cliff (the penthouse) he was greeted with Near Universal Praise (Here the parallel breaks down: My Technorati Ranking is at an all time low. Why'd you kids stop linking to me? I'm in the processes of linking to you guys, it just takes me a while to find a way of working it in. Right, random person who has linked to me?*)

Anyway, Lindz is getting her cameo, by my revealing this shocking revelation: She has given me no reason to pursue the relationship at a more committed level, because she already gives me what a more 'official relationship' would.

After a long day of work she comes by and says, "You would think someone who teaches college could figure out how to vacuum."

While walking to my car she gently yells, "Get a haircurt, you hippie."

She sends me an email, "When are you going to finally make something of your life?"

Call me a Romantic in Rebellion Against All Formalities, but how would getting a marriage certificate change anything?


* If you are Swedish and blonde and female, I am much more likely to link to you. At any rate, I will take a great interest in you.

20 comments:

Taihae said...

I'm a natural blonde, if it helps. the red is a great effort of time and will.

shriveled old lady with replacement hips wannabe said...

i get free milk at work.
i should drink more cause i think i might get osteoporosis in like 2 years.

goldennib said...

I'm blonde and female, Austrian not Swedish, but I've had you linked for ages.

Maybe it is this kind of lack of reciprocation that makes your relationship with Lindz unsatisfactory for you.

You should respond, "Vacumning is women's work."

When she tells you to get a haircut, tell her to get you a beer.

Try yelling out the window as she's leaving, "Stella...Stella..."

Oh, you can't do any of these things, you're not married.

Justin said...

taihae,
Nationality?

j.

Justin said...

S.O.L.M.

Good idea. I believe Milk contains natural tranqualizers.

It'll help you sleep.
j.

Justin said...

Dr. Phil,
Very good advice. Although I don't think Lindz has a blog, so it couldn't be the whole not linking thing.


j.

Pepper Medley said...

Why buy the proverbial cow when you can get the milk for free? It's called a tax break.

You could use the extra money to set up a trust fund for Plantie's education...or invest in the local community college's night course in PhotoShop mastery...or buy frilly Romantic rebel shirts. The possibilities are endless.

Comrade Kevin said...

Poor Marie Linder's website hits are going to go through the roof because of your link and she's going to think it's because her last post refers to her as a cheerleader and a picture of the little outfit.

This will probably compel her to post more and more pictures of her in cheerleader outfits to keep up the traffic....

....

Good thing I remembered to save that place to my favorites.

Finding Fair Hope said...

Damn, I thought I was the Random Person etc. since I am very linked to you and visit you religiously.

Never was a blonde, but that could be arranged. I think the age difference might be a factor in our inability to communicate. Also I've written a book and yours is still a work in progress. But Lindz is still in the picture so I'm laying low for awhile. Nobody complains this much unless they're still in love.

Taihae said...

oh, you know...frenchy britishy irishy (canadian french not frogsmith french)...but i AM part gypsy on my dads side! still, with the whole "international woman of mystery" thing, i could probly arrange citizenship in the country of your choice. lets do lunch. have your people call my people.

goldennib said...

I can't believe you called me Dr. Phil I am upset. First no link and now insults. If you weren't funny, I'd stop coming here.

Taiga the Fox said...

Well, I have you linked as well, I'm female, Finnish (almost Swedish, that is), but brunette. Blah.

Justin said...

Taiga, Don't be too hard on yourself. Hardly anyone is perfect.
j.

Justin said...

Dr. Phil,
Sorry. It is nothing personal. My pop culture references are so limited outside of the X-Files. j.

Justin said...

taihae,
Hmm. That calls to mind an unfortunate incident that occured, or more accurately, nearly occured to me in Prague. But I am glad you are keeping such an open mind.

j.

Justin said...

ffh,
That is an interesting theory about love & complaining.

If you were right, then the extent of my complaining would suggest that I have achieved the absolute love for the world that so many mystics have strived for.

But I'm not holding my breath for canonization.

j.

Justin said...

(I have recently recieved the complaint that it is silly for me to respond to Comrade K's comments b/c I never add anything to them.)

Blondes!

Cheerleaders!

Links!

Justin said...

pepper, I wasn't going to buy a proverbial cow, but a metaphorical cow.

j.

P.S. Am I ready for Iowa. Please, tell me yes. The above comment reflects the peak of my linguistic

Comrade Kevin said...

You don't have add anything to my responses Justin. It's just good enough to know that we are brothers in spirit.

I'd take a bullet for you man. As long as the bullet was made of soft chocolate.. and I wasn't wearing a new shirt.

John from Grand Haven, MI said...

assuming that is her in the pic, lindz looks pretty hot. what's a hottie like her doing with a schlub like you?