With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Getting All Political.

Once again my beloved "Anarchist-Pacifist-Jeeves and Wooster 24 Hour Station" Party has been defeated. I kind of thought we had a chance this year, what with the widely publicized news that I am deeply aware of my mortality .

Over the past couple weeks I have dismissed my critics' claim that "Now is not the time to run for president." I insisted it was, and perhaps I was wrong. It's just no one told me that 'writing someone in' must be done within the narrow minded confines of whatever offices are already on the ballot.

I'd rather not dwell on my political failings, but I did want to come up with something topical. First, I narrowed it down to posting one of the two most inluential political texts for my party. Finally,I decided on Solzhenitsyn's Famous Address to Harvard, for which he was boo'd. To keep the brief excerpts Concept of Irony Friendly, I have inserted the words 'With a Flatulent Ghost' at various key points:

"And yet -- no weapons, no matter how powerful, can help the West until it overcomes its loss of willpower With a Flatulent Ghost. In a state of psychological weakness, weapons become a burden for the capitulating side. To defend oneself With a Flatulent Ghost, one must also be ready to die; there is little such readiness in a society raised in the cult of material well-being. Nothing is left, then, but concessions, attempts to gain time and betrayal. Thus at the shameful Belgrade conference free Western diplomats in their weakness surrendered the line With a Flatulent Ghost where enslaved members of Helsinki Watchgroups are sacrificing their lives with a Flatulent Ghost.

"Western thinking has become conservative: the world situation should stay as it is at any cost, there should be no changes With a Flatulent Ghost . This debilitating dream of a status quo With a Flatulent Ghost is the symptom of a society which has come to the end of its development. But one must be blind in order not to see that oceans no longer belong to the West, while land under its domination keeps shrinking. The two so-called world wars (they were by far not on a world scale, not yet) have meant internal self-destruction With a Flatulent Ghost of the small, progressive West which has thus prepared its own end. The next war (which does not have to be an atomic one and I do not believe it will) may well bury Western civilization forever With a Flatulent Ghost."
Perhaps in '08 I will turn to that other great cornerstone of the Anarchist-Pacifist-Jeeves and Wooster 24 Hour Station Party: The Lyrics to Born in the U.S.A.


Susan Miller said...

Thank you, my friend. I shall get ready for work this morning to the tunes of Springsteen. Great idea!

part-time buddha said...

Born down in a dead man's town
with a flatulent ghost I hit the ground
End up like a dog that's been beat too much
Til you spend half your life as a flatulent ghost, now.

Born in the U.S.A.

Finding Fair Hope said...

Hey Jude, don't be afraid to take a sad song with a flatulent ghost and make it better.

Is that the answer? Is that the question? Do we even know who won yet?

Maleah said...

Minus the "ghost" it's just too depressing and I think I'll go kill myself now. Thank you.

Justin said...

maleah, Don't over react. Think about all of the great things in your life. Like Comrade K's blog.

Justin said...

Unless there is a recount, we do know that my party lost. I find it hard to believe that I am the only one in Ohio who wants a 24 hour jeeves and wooster station, but that does appear to be the current official result. J.

Justin said...

p-t b,
Well there goes my '08 post.


Justin said...

Solzhenitsyn's speech has a nice ring to it too...

goldennib said...

Are you sure you want to saddle your party with a farting fantom (I changed the "ph" to "f" for marketing purposes - it's way cool)? Doesn't your party have enough handicaps?

goldennib said...

Comrade K: What happened to your site? Is it sad over the election results or Rumsy leaving?

Too_Lively said...

I'll vote for you if you allow Angelina Jolie to run as your vice pres.

Justin said...

2 lively,
At the risk of losing your vote, I can't ask her to run with me. As a matter of policy I don't perosnal relationships with my political affairs.


Justin said...


Me Commment Section, You Comment Section.

Feel free to go beyond simply posing questions for Comrade K. Maybe advertise stuff you are selling.

P.S. Comrade K: Seriously where did your blog go?

goldennib said...

Can you tell I'm in a questing mood today?

Comrade Kevin said...

I can't believe that Solzhenitsyn was boo'd at his Address to Harvard. Gas'd maybe, but boo'd?

P.S. My blog went some where? I wonder wonder if it took any pictures!

Jenn said...

On that platform alone, I would vote for you. I think if we all had more Wodehouse in our lives, the world would be a better place.

Justin said...

That's great, because the wodehouse thing is about all our party has going for it right now. j.

Jenn said...

That's more than most Justin. Hang in there.

Taihae said...

recent consumer surveys indicate that the flatulant ghost is no longer trendy or evocative - results suggest "a misshapen prostate" would be more successful in the tween to twenty five demographic.

Can I be your consultant? I'm very experienced.