(This professional quality review is of a book written by COI fan Finding Fair Hope.)I'd like to start off by saying that when I first recieved this book, I wasn't sure what to expect. I had a little trouble with the title, "Meet Meat the Butterfly Tree." To my mind this title was either unnecessarily obscure or unnecessarily sexually explicit. Either way I am pretty literate, so if it confused me you can imagine that it would confuse others.
(Of course once you read the book, or as I did, read it seventeen times, you will find the mysterious meaning of the book unveiled on page 78 when Mary Lois quotes a poem from Fairhope resident, Ms Duncan: "My Busy knee with your front feet; I know that all it means is meat." See it all becomes clear!)
Despite the confusing start, once you open it up, the book is autographed to me! I thought this was a nice touch. Because even though the title mystified me, the inscription did suggest that I was pretty much the best writer ever.
I thought the autograph was pretty good. And I am something of an authority on the topic of autographs. Obviously, I have a lot of autographed books inscribed to me. Also, I have given out a lot of autographs. But I don't have a book, so I have to print out my short stories from the internet and autograph those. (P.S. For Sale!)
The books is about a very nice town, though the name of the town elludes me. I guess the parts about the nice town bothered me because I grew up in the hood. I felt jealous that such an idyllic town existed when I had to regularly commit petty crimes just in order to afford a latin copy of the Summa Theologica.
(The book contains a number of full color photos taken when the world was still black and white.)The last point I would like in this pretty much professional quality review is that Mary Lois mentions that there is a nearbye Nudist Colony but there are no pictures! This makes the discerning reader doubt the existence of the colony and than write the author asking for said pictures until the author is finally like, You Know What Can You Please Just Stop!
COI Professional Quality Review: ***** out of &&&&& (Five Random Punctuation Marks out of Five Other Random Punctuation Marks. Our highest rating ever!)
22 comments:
Hello--!
I have been reading your blog, and I must say I'm intrigued and interested. =)
Wonderful book reviews.
Wonderful entries.
I'm Shanna.
That sounds like a weird book. I must buy one at once. Or maybe not?
Move over Michiko Kakutani.
sweet guenivere, Thanks. I do what I can. J.
P.S. But between me and you most of these posts are plagiarized from obscure blogs written in Icelandic.
finding fair hope, buy two. They come in different covers.Both versions are worth reading and rereading j.
Jenn, I wish I could see Michiko's face when she reads your comment!
j
Wow! ***** out of &&&&&. That's enough for me. I have to get one of these before it ends up on the NYT bestseller list and the price skyrockets!
I, too, want an autographed copy. Then I can put it on the shelf where I keep all of my autographed books and people will no longer have to ask, "Why is there only one book on that shelf?"
I never knew butterflies were attracted to meat and what effect this had on nudist colonies until I read this review!
Its this sort of hard hitting investigative journalism that just goes ignored by the mainstream press.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it Charles Kuralt!
Quilly: In response, I would like to say that while I encourage you to get a copy, please let me know if you do, because if she is selling books by inscribing them to me, than I think I should get a percentage. J.
Comrade Kevin: Really, you didn't know that stuff? I thought you were from Montana. Maybe I have the wrong image of Montana. J
J. I remember when I was a young boy my father took me to visit an old rancher outside of town. I remember sitting with him while he was cleaning his shotgun and looking out over the cattle, that they were all covered in mosquito netting.
I asked him why and he leaned close to me, his breath smelling of stale cigarettes and huckleberry tarts "Its to keep the butterflies away boy." I thought to myself 'Wow, what a sad, insane old man.'
Only now, too late, have I come to realize it was I... I who was the sad insane old man....
".....when I first recieved this book, I wasn't...."
I dodge Katyushas for a week and come back to this?
For shame I say. Despite my Herculean efforts the terrorists have won. The mighty Justin has preceeded an 'E' with an 'I' when dipthonged after a 'C'. And without that curds and whey thing.
Mmmmmmmmmm
Thongs and Nudist Colonies.
Those Icelandic Blogs are not so obscure. I speak Islenska
Bil Pud
anonymous bill:
Welcome back!
Did you bring us any Katyushas
back?
I would get you something if I ever left my penthouse.
j.
I tried to smuggle back a Katyusha but security at Ben Gurion made me throw it out as I had hidden a tube of toothpaste and some shampoo in it. Bastards!
Good to be back. Though I miss the falafels.
Bil Pud
Hi Justin,
You know, it used to scare me being around angels. But once I realized they had bought their halo at the same shop as I did, I was more comfortable.
Now I mostly use their bad advice to give to other, less deserving hoodlums...
Take care,
Shanna
Well... No. I did not post that on Saturday. And it's okay, that's just a little dirt hill in the backyard, not a mountain.
Do dirt hills give you asthma, as well?
Thanks for the compliment...
Shanna
The author of this book should be so thrilled to receive such a professional and glowing, review. You could make mega bucks by offering your professional review services to other writers.
I'm holding my breath for just such a development, golden. BTW, with your fluttering icon, you really should consider buying a copy yourself. Maybe I could use one of those butterflies for the next printing, too...
FFH: I think that would be appropriate. As soon as I get sorted, I will.
Justin, who is that guy who crashed the party at Spring Festival, 1951? I don't remember seeing him there.
Missed the expert Photoshop work on the pic the first time around. Folks, click on the picture and see if you can identify the time-traveling intruder. I'm considering a reward for correct ID.
Is that Justin?
He has no legs...
If that is Justin, he sure looks different from the first few pictures he showed of himself.
Except for the goatee. That's the same. And the baseball cap. Also the eyebrows.
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