With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

THE POSTS MIGHT AS WELL BE LONG SINCE THANKSGIVING MAKES THIS A THREE DAY WORK WEEK: PART C OF AN A,B,C SERIES: CAN’T THINK OF ANY ONE WORD THAT CAPTU

RES THE ESSENCE OF THIS POST AND ALSO BEGINS WITH THE LETTER 'C'

I don't mean to seem ungrateful, but why does blogger offer such miniscule space for the titles of these posts?

Enough of that. Let's jump into the 'meat' of this post, if you will.

In the life of a writer it is usually true that you have so much stuff going on in your life and so you have no time to write,

Or alternatively:

You have nothing going on in your life and so you have plenty of time, but nothing to write about.

This post is going to be long.

L…o…n…g...

Let’s see. Last night I decided not to renew my eharmony membership. Ending a relationship with a dating service is much more complex than ending a relationship with a girl.

I mean by allowing my membership to expire, I am not only ending a relationship with one person but with the very possibility of finding someone using eharmony’s patented matching system.

This is disheartening to me.

The number of conversations I have had with girls that are like, "Really you do online dating service ? You don’t seem like the kind of guy who requires such services" is astronomical (Approx: 6. Which is kind of astronomical.)

Such conversations usually end something like:
ME: So would you date me?
HER: I would if..
ME: If what?
HER: I weren’t dead.
ME: You are dead?
HER: Yes. (Falls to the ground)
ME: Ahh-Huh. Do you want me to call someone?
HER (eyes shut, real still): No. See you around.

So there are some sources of discouragement: removing myself from the online dating scene, the widespread epidemic affecting girls I try talking to, and of course the miniscule amount of space allowed for titles.

But I'm not discouraged.

For I have you, my ever faithful readers, who keep my going.

What do you mean you're dead?



(Photo, once again, by my good friend and photographer Adam LaPorta. It was actually taken a couple of weeks after the picture featured in a previous post. He was like, "Don't you want to wear something else?" and I was like, "didn't I wear the sandwhich sign last time?" and he was like, "No" and I was like "Oh, snap.")

(Words by Justin Kahn & Leo Tolstoy)

5 comments:

silent T said...

thats it, you are no longer my friend!

Anonymous said...

Is there a reason you're not smiling in the pictures? Are you trying to scare us? Because I've seen you smiling [and it's much more pleasant].

Justin said...

Anonymous? Hmmm. Sounds like it could be silentt, continuing her merciless tirade against me. (can't we just get along)

Is the picture scary?

Perhaps I shouldn't have used that photo for the dating services.

kati said...

justin: i SWEAR i would date you, if i wasn't in love with a girl. no, for real.

and i can see how 6 is an astronomical number...there are six stars, after all (and then some).

and now i will stop commenting. i don't want to be the dork who makes the blog writer remark on their speediness.

silent T said...

we would get along just fine if you didn't let other people take you picture. I was also thinking myself, that kati would be perfect for you if she wasn't in love with a woman. Tough luck! Have a good Thanksgiving, and stop by the International Thanksgiving Extravaganza if you want. There will probablay be a lot of food that could send your intestinal tract into to spasm until Christmas. Oh, and by the way, I don't do anonymous.