With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Ignore the Helpless Pleas of The Carrots and Radishi.

For sometime I have been eating as a vegetarian. This came about as a result of a number of important facts, i.e.

Fact The amount of grain that cattle consume could feed all of the currently starving poor.

Sometimes people challenge my statistics. So I throw red paint on them and yell, "Murderer!" This is because if I am not morally superior because of my food choices I really have nothing going for me, superiority-wise.

One of the great challenges of being a vegetarian is finding cheap, nutritious food that doesn't require a wife to prepare.

Recently I have stumbled upon pop rocks. It meets all of the basic requirements, while also serving to boost your brain power. Nourished by weeks of pop rocks I created a culinary masterpiece.


1/3 cup of Lettuci
1 Gaggle of Radishi
1/5 cup of coleslaw
1 tablespoon of diced mint
1 lb of turnii
1/2 cup of croutons
3 lbs of pop rocks
A Cow (skinned)
1 cup of tablespooni
1 tomato
1 cup of other vegetables.

Mix Together!


Anonymous said...

Just curious, how many does this serve, I am having a huge party, like 2 or 3 people over, will this recipe take care of that many (small or large cow in your recipe ?)

Justin said...

If your vegetarians are fairly conscientious a small cow should do it.

I'm glad that I could help even though the invitation probably got lost in the mail somewhere.



maleah said...

Does Whole Foods have a skinned cow that will fit in a canvas shopping bag?

Justin said...

You have actually asked three questions. I wil answer them in turn:
Q. Should I buy from Whole Foods?
A. Yes, if you want to pay four times as much as just getting it from a super target.

Q. Should I have a canvas bag?
A. Only if you hate the environment. Show some heart and buy a 100% styrofoam bag.

Q. Why do you put words into my mouth?
A. The skinned cow should fit into a canvas bag.

Jenn said...

You sound a bit veganish.

I like cows.

They have pretty eyes.

Justin said...

I'm less of a vegan and more of a saladist.