With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Rated U for Unbelievable:

With the return of Kelmaree, making it clear that women all over the world are waiting for my next post, why has there been such a delay?

Before I answer, parents shield your children's eyes; faint of heart, call the ambulances, now.

My dearest children, I who live in a state of monkish simplicity have undergone one of the few catastrophes that can prevent the most determined of men from writing.

Heart break?


No, no. These things are child's play for the real writer. The just become so much more fodder for the writer.

My chair broke. After eight years of faithful service, Larry's plastic spine broke in twain. Or in terry. Whichever one, is the fancy word for two.

But the point, is I had no where to rest my weary butt.

And so now you know. I will tell more, when my feet aren't just absolutely murdering me.


Mr. Chaos said...

Where will you rest your weary butt?
I have a wonderful idea...how about you sit down in ANOTHER chair?
If you don't have another one, start with buying one.
Next, I suggest you give it a proper name, something like "Phil"...and you just keep going from there.

I'm glad I could be of some rare help!


Justin said...


You never struck me as the materialstic sort, but now in retrospect, I can see it.

Perhaps, if I were a man of independent means, I could simply run out and buy a new chair. But as things stand, I would have to sell Leo to come up with that kind of cash, and then who would give me all of my ideas?

Mr. Chaos said...

Well, first...
You need to practice giving YOURSELF all your ideas, it is a wondeful practice!

Second, you wouldn't need to sell Leo, even though you probably want to.

Do you remember "Crazy J's New Year Sale"?

The sales on all that "valuable" merchandise, should have at least raised a lowly three-hundred dollars, which is the least that you can pay for a relatively decent chair with these days.


Justin said...

Mr. C.:
Well, believe it or not after taxes, I didn't actually sell anything in my sale.

I guess that is really a judgement on you guys more than on me, but that still leaves me broke.

Anyway, 3 hundred for a chair? Have you ever even heard of a crate?

Soon you will be ready for your own advice column, but not yet. If however, you would like to guest blog an advice column it could be great practice. Bring you back in touch with those of us who weren't born with a silver platter in our mouth and so on.


maleah said...

I THOUGHT I posted something yesterday. Hm. But not. It was funny. Yesterday.

Rachel said...

How could you do this to Terry? And we were just getting to be good friends.