Essays. Answer With Complete Sentences.
(This post is affectionately dedicated to all of those who find this blog while looking for stuff to plagiarize.)
1. Which posts do you think are most likely to be immortal? Which will simply be great for another millennium?
2. The Concept of Irony doesn’t discuss every possible topic. Some things are better left unsaid. What are they?
3. Discuss how each and every image on COI is acceptable under fair use laws.
4.If you could bring just one post from COI with you to an island, which one would it be? How would it provide you with hope and a chance of escape?
5. Does anyone know where I can get bottled water from Scotland? Preferably Highland Springs? For Scotch? Because I’m sick of Punk Grocers looking at me like, ‘What?’
6. Why should spammers be prosecuted under international law?
7. Lindz has recently claimed that Justin is immature. Discuss why Lindz eats her own boogers.
8. In what way does COI demonstrate the Zeitgeist? The Festschrift? The Hinterland ?The Volkswagen?
9. G. Lichtenberg wrote “Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together.” How does this demonstrate that based on the last year of COI Justin is undeniably a genius in the Lichtenbergian sense?
10. How do questions one through nine utilize the structure of the Brandenberg Concertos? In what ways do those questions improve upon Bach’s work?
11. Some have argued that the status of top blogger in the fourth quadrant is an arbitrary title. What specific political, geographical, economic and moral considerations go into creating a quadrant? How does this demonstrate the superiority of COI in the 4th quadrant of Cleveland Heights?
12. An executioner guards a bridge. He knows all. When travelers come to the bridge, the executioner asks, “Where are you going?” If the traveler lies his head gets chopped off. If the traveler tells the truth the executioner must safely guide him past the AX OF DEATH and take the traveler over the bridge so that he can be on his way.
One day a traveler answers, “I have come to have my head chopped off while reading the Concept of Irony.
What should the executioner do?
How is this an illustration of Godel's Incompleteness Theorem?
13. Would you like to link exchange? Because I’m doing that. Let me know. Justin_Kahn@hotmail.com
14. One rhetorician has said that Irony is the lowest form of literary communication because of its highly manipulative nature. But you don’t believe that do you? Discuss why you don’t.
15.The narrator (“Justin Kahn”) frequently breaks with the main narrative of the Concept of Irony to try and demonstrate his own existence. Why is it unlikely such a mortal being could ever exist? How cool would it be if he did?
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17 comments:
Do we have to answer all of the questions or can we just pick three?
This is haaaard.... I was a fine arts major for a reason.
I never knew that when J. talked about taking this blog to the next level he was talking about standardized testing.
No Blogger Left Behind
Goldennib,
I will pick five for the test, and you will answer three.
j.
maleah,
If you are not a verbal processor than by all means answer the question in the form of an interpetive dance.
j.
Comrade K,
If this were just about me, I would have quit years ago.
But I do it for the children.
Because they are our future.
j.
number 4 is easy. it is the one i wrote. like, DUH! OMG! oh, and i have never frowned in my entire life once. not once. ever. in my entire life. never.
I was a Creative Writing major. Can I just write an epic poem about your battle with Box of Ramen or perhaps dramatize your relationship with Audrey in a five-act play called "the frenchwoman and the top blogger in the fourth quadrant"?
p-t b,
An epic poem would be great. But each Canto has to be written as a Sestina in Blank verse.
I wish I understood poetry.
j.
AARP,
Well unfortunately your response wasn't exactly an essay so you are going to have to recieve a....I tried to find Scottish Spring water today, what a waste of like 3 hours. And now I'm listening to Ted Leo, so that I can impress Erin with my mad indie music skillz. But I'm hungry. I think I heard something outside. I really admire Marc Chagall.
j.
YOU THINK YOU ARE SO FUNNY MISTER!!
yeah yeah, well i think you're funny, too.......
.....FUNNY LOOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
muahahaha
Do you grade on a curver? I need a curve that doubles back on itself and then meanders off in little curlicues.
Or even just a curve?
Thanks for the dedication! I really appreciate having a whole blogpost about me. But what do all those questions mean?
I completed the test, graded it myself, made a 98 and now sleep with it under my pillow.
Shhhhh, don't say anything. He might find out that you know that I know that we know that he's possibly back on Mondays.
http://www.themanwhocouldntblog.blogspot.com/
P.S. I found it Ironic that you complained (whined?) over at Comrade Kevin's that I wasn't commenting here anymore when you never comment at my site.
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