It is such an honor to have been picked by the National Gas Station Association for the very prestigious, "Excellence in Bathroom Cleanliness Award." Doubly so, as I understand that my Penthouse is the first private bathroom to have received this award.
Just last week I was on campus using the faculty bathroom, and while taking a faculty dump, I thought to myself, this just doesn't compare to the upkeep of my home bathroom.
I am sure that I am not the first person, upon receiving this award, to turn to Shakespeare’s Sonnets.
On more than one occasion upon returning the key on a hubcap to its place in my living room, I have thought of my bathroom, How much more praise deserved thy beauty's use.
And now my bathroom has received that praise from the fine folks at the N.G.S.A.
I will display the Gold Plated Bathroom Towel Dispenser Holding Just a Single, Filthy Loop of Cloth with pride and honor.
12 comments:
Once again, I feel so priveleged to be a reader, Justin. Even with all of your honors you take time to bestow your wisdom upon those of us with really bad bathrooms.
Thank you, Justin. From the bottom of my heart.....Thank you.
Also from my bottom do I thank you.
My bathroom received an entirely different reward from the Environmental Protection Agency except they called the reward a 'grant' and there was the word 'hazard' in there somewhere too.
Susan,
And once again I feel so lucky to be a writer with a really awesome bathroom.
I appreciate your reading, and will not forget it when the N.G.S.A. starts looking for nominations.
j.
mack,
I will gladly take a compliment from anywhere I can get it.
Comrade K:
I heard about that. I also heard that your cat recieved three time tbe grant for her litter box.
But don't let it bother you.
j.
Congratulations.
My bathroom has carpet, though. So I imagine that I'll be getting an award soon myself.
No "filthy loop of cloth," however.
I can hardly type on this post. I'm afraid of bathrooms that aren't mine. Well, my grandmother's bathroom was very clean and had a crocheted Southern Belle guarding the extra roll of toilet paper, so I felt very safe, except I felt the belle was watching me, but being female and Southern and raised proper, I felt is was most likely harmless. There was never any weird hair in there. And now I have to go think of something else...
everytime justin comments on another blog, someone spontaneously orgasms.
t.
Can I come over for a quick shower?
(Okay, okay, I know that was creepy. Sorry.)
Re the garage: do you think there's rattlesnakes in there?
When your teaching gig drives you to insanity, I know of a very clean house in Irving, Texas that could use an award-winning Mr. Clean. Sometimes I get tired of scrubbing, and I hear that cleaning is therapeutic.
In the meantime, thanks for a delightful story.
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