He is deformed, crooked, old and sere,
Ill-faced, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind;
But every word of it applies to little Henry. Truer than the day that Dan Brown first penned those lines.
I thought I was seeing things. Henry had been healthy with two leaves. But something has happened to him. He is deformed, crooked...worse bodied. And soon he will have the very asymetrical and unpleasant three leaves.
Henry asked for bottled water and I gave it to him. Even added a little scotch (no extra charge.)
Henry asked for sunlight and I gave him large doses of Gamma Radiation.
What more could I have done?
And what will I do now?
Perhaps I will do what my parents did when their first born turned out to be, vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind. Try again.
20 comments:
I suggest letting Henry start a blog. Give him a reason to go on.
It sounds like he's more of a Richard the Third than a Plantagenet.
Yay, more plants! :)
If I may make a correction please. The reason we had a second child was BECAUSE the first one was so wonderful.
I second that
Perhaps I will do what my parents did when their first born turned out to be, vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind. Try again.
--I couldn't have said it better myself!
anonymous: I have deduced that you are none other than my little sister.
justin's mom and dad,
Then why did you 'send him away' and destroy all records of his existence leaving people to think that I am your eldest?
j.
ki two,
A Freakish plant, but, one with an incrediblem, grasp of grammar, and, more,importantly, punctuation.
j one.
comrade k,
Whoa. No need to be getting all highbrow on us. j.
p-t b, the return of:
I may have to, though I feel like it will go against my strongly held conviction that only beautiful people should blog.
j-d k
All those extra added pauses are so hot. :D
(I literally burst out laughing when I saw "j. one." Nice touch.)
Perhaps your "little man" is starting puberty.
Henry still looks beautiful to me. Maybe your eyes are faulty. And man, you have nice folks. Does Henry know you called him all those names?
You give your plant scotch? I'm going to start telling people I'm a plant.
sassy,
Even with me, all that will get you is some Johnnie Walker. Is it really worth it?
j.
Jenn,
I'm pretty sure Henry doesn't know it. From what I've gathered, Henry's problems aren't just physical, if you know what I mean.
j.
too-lively, that would explain the temmper tantrums.
j.
Hey thanks for typing in my little meebome box. I was off studying, else I'd have replied. :) Catch ya later...
your plant... much like myself is alive and well.... no extra appendage for me please.
curious about you....
Post a Comment