Justin’s Line by Line Commentary on Aristotle’s Analysis of Friendship

(Sitting alone in the corner of COI’s B-Day Bash,wondering why sprout and comrade k and Ki Two were no shows, I turned to the old question of friendship. So many unanswered questions! My commentary now runs to approximately 20 volumes and I hope to finish it in the coming years.)

“For without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods...”
Nichomachean Ethics, Book 8 On Friendship

“For without friends no one would choose to live.” (Interpretation I)
Having looked at the sorts of virtues which allow us to become just people The Philosopher starts spewing nonsense.
I would be happy to live without Friends. Matthew Perry was O.K. in it, but I feel the show was overrated and not nearly as interesting as either 24 or House. If Jack ever retires I don’t know how I would go on. But I could live without Chandler.

Of course there is another sense in which we could take Aristotle’s analysis of Friends. For some Friends is more than just a Television Show.

And it is to that we shall turn next.

“For without friends no one would choose to live.” (Interpretation II)
We can look at this statement by considering its opposite. Let us imagine what it is like without friends and see if the conclusion is choosing not to live. Of course, it is not possible to imagine all friends at all times in all possible circumstances. So we shall imagine a single friend and then arbitrarily generalize.

I have a friend who invited me to dinner. This friend says that it has been a while and why not, he’ll even buy me lunch at the Cheesecake factory.

In the guise of being helpful he explains why I should abandon my commentary on Aristotle—at least until maybe I finish one of my other projects. Like my Haiku translation of Dante. And how maybe I would be a better writer if I frequently wrote in caps lock, BECAUSE PEOPLE WOULD FIND THAT SO OUTRAGEOUS AND PEOPLE WOULD FINALLY LAUGH AT WHAT YOU WRITE. At the end of the meal, he can tell that somewhere between explaining to me why Audrey dumped me and making suggestions for what I should do better in my next relationship he has offended me. But rather than apologizing he says, it was fun and we ought to do it again.

The big question: Without this friend would it be possible to live? Or without this friend would I insist that Dr. House give me large doses of morphine?

The answer after about five seconds of deliberation is yes. True, I wouldn’t eat at the Cheesecake factory, but I could certainly afford grabbing something from Jackie Chan’s Wok. I love take out anyway, and for dessert I could always have. Well, I admit that if it weren’t for a friend paying for cheesecake, I probably would eat a dessert of considerably less quality. But does that mean I would die. No, not immediately.

Excursus I: On Cheesecake.
While not directly stated by the Philosopher it is obvious that the pleasure of Cheesecake is greatly enhanced when it is bought for you and greatly diminished when you are put in a situation where there is even a remote possibility that you have to pay for it yourself. How can anyone enjoy a $7.50 slice of cheesecake? Especially when they don’t have a book deal. The blog pays enough to get by, but not nearly enough to put you in the $7.50 for a Cheesecake-is-just-fine-mode. So the problem of obtaining cheesecake without friends is one of the fundamental problems of living without friends.

Of course, with friends even the Merest Yellow Cake is just fine. But even sharing Yellow Cake isn't without its problems, unless you are made of Tupperware. Which I for one, am not.