With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Die, Internet Monsters, Die (With Amazon Gift Certificate Prizes!)

This week I recieved a message from ebay president Meg Whitman. I was rather suprised to hear from her as we had decided it would be best to spend some time apart. But when I read her email, I could see why she contacted me. She writes "Right now, the telephone and cable companies in control of Internet access are trying to use their enormous political muscle to dramatically change the Internet. It might be hard to believe, but lawmakers in Washington are seriously debating whether consumers should be free to use the Internet as they want in the future."

I find it absolutely awful and terrible and bad that people with money would try to control the internet.

That is why I am pleased to announce the Concept of Irony Freedom of the Internet Contest. I would never have been able to afford financing this contest were it not for the very wonderful people at my Credit Card Company. Once again they are making my dreams come true.




Concept of Irony Freedom of the Internet Contest

Prizes will be awarded to the blogs which contain posts linking to the Concept of Irony in the following categories. In Each Category, 0$ will be awarded to the first prize winner. In each category a $5.00 gift certificate to Amazon will be awarded to the second prize winner. (Sorry first prize winners. The greatest writers suffer for their art. This is a rule of universe.)

1) The Link which includes the best essay on why Concept of irony is the greatest website. Essays can not be longer than 16 Words.

2)The Best Link to Concept of Irony in a Foriegn Language. The rest of your blog need not be in the foriegn language, but the whole of the post does. Since I barely speak English the primary criteria I will be using to judge these posts, is how funny they are when I use Google translate.

3) The Best Link to COI which says something really terrible about the website**. **I will not give out gift certificates for such childish behavior. Instead, you owe me a five dollar gift certificate.

4) The Best Post Containing a Link to COI which is written as a Lipogram.

5)The Best Post Containing a Link to this particular post which promotes this contest.

6) The Best Link to Concept of Irony from a Made-Up Country. (Only "Australians" are eligible for this contest.)

7)The Best Wikipedia Article that contains a Link to COI.

8)Check back for additional categories.


Fine Print.

COI refers to Concept of Irony. Post a link to your entries on the comments page. All Entries Due by August 12. Concept of Irony Will Resume August 14 With First Prize, Second Prize and Honorable Mentions. If no eligible entries are recieved for a given category Justin will use the money to by himself an awesome cheap book. Or if no one enters any category Justin will by himself one medium range book or maybe a DVD. It is weird. After talking to Meg, it seems like it really was best to each go our own seperate ways. She has her succesful website and I have mine. Like a happy version of that Harry Chapin song, "Taxi."

56 comments:

Jenn said...

Audrey. Margaret. Liz. OK, just trying to keep track here.

Also, what about MY made up country huh?

Finding Fair Hope said...

Even though I am already linking to your blog, and I always write how everybody should read it, I refuse to enter this contest. I want to go on record as not selling out for anyone.

Besides, I don't want to win second place. I hate when that happens. You can just run your contest without me.

Justin said...

Hey Jenn: Yes, your country does count, and I have decided so does Alabama. J.

Jenn said...

OK will enter the contest. Just cos I want to be the only entry from a made-up country. I am trying to decide which made up country I am from.

Malaysia/Micronesia/Mauritius/Mever-Mever Land/Ouagodogou/Wagga Wagga/
The Penthouse

It is the prerogative of spam bots that they can appear to be from anywhere.

Jenn said...

I DID IT! And my essay is like, only four words long. How's that for being succint?

Justin said...

Jenn, really flattering words. J.

Comrade Kevin said...

I have taken your contest to heart Justin and have entered my response on my blog. Unfortunately my blog is not open for viewing to the general public including yourself. Realizing that this may cause some problem in your ability to judge my post, I have recreated it here for you in a series of meaningless dots and dashes.

..--.-.-- ..---.--.. ...-.--.. ..-.-.. .... .---..-.-- .-.-.-.- ..--...- .---.-.--., ..--

Justin said...

Comrade, it is posts like that, which exemplify why we haven't to keep the internet free. There was a link to me, somewhere in there wasn't there?
j.

Finding Fair Hope said...

Don't go including Alabama out of pity, Justin. Or are you including it out of irony?

It doesn't matter, nothing you can say would induce me to enter your contest. Even if the first prize is a night out with Mel Gibson on the wagon.

Justin said...

finding fair hope:
Let's just say a pitiful irony. j.

Comrade Kevin said...

Justin, unfortunately there was a law recently enacted in my imaginary country against 'feeding the machine' and my link to your site has been haulted by court order. Let me reassure you that I have every lawyer at my disposal working on the case. I believe we may have found a loophole dangling under the letter G in 'feeding'. I'll keep you posted!

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

Why would you want a reference to that guy 'Link' from the 'Mod Squad' on your blog?

I think he spells it 'Linc' by the way.

Justin said...

bilious--Sounds to me like you have the start of a great entry. j.

Sterculian Rhetoric said...

"..--.-.-- ..---.--.. ...-.--.. ..-.-.. .... .---..-.-- .-.-.-.- ..--...- .---.-.--., ..--"

Comrade Kevin - I just channeled Samuel F. B.

He disagrees, though he believes that an unction or salve might help.

QuillDancer said...

Entered, Ogden Nash style.

goldennib said...

Look at me, look at me.

http://goldennib.blogspot.com/2006/08/coi.html

QuillDancer said...

Link to COI Ad -
http://quilldancer.blogspot.com/2006/08/justin-runs-rampant-raves-readers.html

Link to COI Contest Promo
http://quilldancer.blogspot.com/2006/08/coi-khan-concept.html

Justin said...

Goldennib, was that created using the magic of photoshop, or just plain magic? j.

Justin said...

quilly, alliteration is awesome. J.

goldennib said...

Does this qualify as a foreign language?

http://goldennib.blogspot.com/2006/08/01001010-01110101-01110011-01110100.html

gumbee said...

I love coming back here for more and more irony!

goldennib said...

Justin: I used fairy dust and my magic wand (14" holly with butterfly scales core.)

QuillDancer said...

I think I have first, second and third prize sewn-up. Here is another promo; along with another contest announcement which includes a bit of light-hearted bashing.

Now for a foreign language post ... how am I going to pull that off? Deseo que podría hablar español.

http://b-s-anon.blogspot.com/2006/08/concept-of-irony_05.html
http://b-s-anon.blogspot.com/2006/08/concept-of-irony.html

goldennib said...

Because I have no life, you should go read my newest submission at:

http://goldennib.blogspot.com/2006/08/coi-limerick.html

Clampett said...

Er, you aren't one to hide your light under a bushel basket, are you?

No deal on the contest.

But, your writing is scintillating.

Justin said...

Kafir: Thanks for the comment. It really hadn't occured to me just how bold I was being with my humble contest. Well, hope you come back even if you don't enter my contest (with prizes) J.

you can call me krislee said...

your drawing made me giggle :]


hello justin. immmmmm krislee.

Justin said...

Hey Krislee: I have other drawings. Maybe they will get a a chuckle or even a chortle from you. I hope so. j.

Vile Blasphemer said...

This blog is fantastic.

Justin said...

Vile, Thanks for the comment. At first I had to think about your remark, but now I can say I think you are right. j.

Brian said...

oK YoU gO bOy SaVe tHe interNet.
http://we-are-to-blame.blogspot.com/

Justin said...

Brian, Truly an outstanding entry. I thank you.

phil said...

Interesting illustration. I would have put the monsters in fancy Armani suits, but yours works.

I'll be gracious enough to let others compete for your affections, but I wanted to alert you to one of my posts a few weeks ago on a similar topic: net neutrality.

http://philsproof.com/2006/07/19/ooga-chaka/

Bert Bananas said...

Wow, what a blast from the past!!

OOGA CHAKA, OOGA CHAKA

I'm not going to spoil the effect by actually following the link. It's enough, Phil, that you startled me with my own past.

kelmaree said...

well i've entered, for part 6 , being Australian gives me the unfair advantage of actually being able to enter this catagory.

also my post doesn't the letters b, q, j, v or z (i so did it on purpose :-) ) - do any of these count for lipograms?

anonymous boycotter said...

There is a ridiculous number of comments on this dang comment page. So, I am boycotting by refusing to reveal my identity, since I can't boycott the comments page and still leave this comment.

But, by the way, I saw you in your office today ...

TTB said...

Get back to work and try being productive. Earn that money they pay you. Your BOSS.


sixteen words exactly, except for these... which don't count, really. Now, where's my first place prize?

Anonymous said...

Justin - Turn off that Harry Chapin tune!
Get back to ironing the concept.
Try "Taxi, The Sequel" tune, it will cheer you up!

Justin said...

Anonymous, How I wish I knew who you were. Still you give good and helpful advice. J.

S.A. said...

This is not a contest entry but a great example of irony. Our firestation burned today in the small town where I was raised.

Justin said...

S.A. Sorry to hear it. That explains why they haven't entered my contest. JK

Anonymous said...

Justin - The most recent Anonymous was I, the commenter formerly known as the Biliary External Genitalia. I be trying to wallow in the bliss of anonymity.
I am off to the not-so-holyland on the morrow. I'll bring you back a piece of a Katyusha or a photograph of Katusha Demidova, or both!

Bil Pud

Justin said...

Anon: I'm not sure why you have gone into deep cover, but any photographs of Katyushas would be welcome. j.

QuillDancer said...

Justin, it is very boring here now. So boring I started a contest at my own blog. Of course it is not near as brialliant as yours. How could it be, I am not Kahn of Coi. Still ... toodle by and take a peek.

joannsdaily.com said...

So Cool ~ I enjoy reading your blog! (although I don't think I'll be joining the contest :P) Thanks for sharing :D

terri said...

Hey, I like Alabama...ROLL TIDE!

Finding Fair Hope said...

Anybody who likes Alabama must know about Fairhope!

Bert Bananas said...

Fairhope... I just found out that it's French and pronounced Fey Rope; the "h" is silent.

lee said...

Thoroughly enjoying your blogS. My humble attempt at brilliant marketing.

http://studiotwentythree.blogspot.com/2006/08/concept-of-irony.html

(See, I always check things out that have the potential to make me pee my pants.)

goldennib said...

My final submission in your contest. Please enter into the lipogram category.

Word verification:

ego, ow-o, Ja.

Orhan Kahn said...

You just might be onto something here.

Awesome blog.

Chloe said...

: ) Ok

sufferwords said...

Irony went out in the 90's, the oughts are the earnest decade. But shit is still funny

Sufferwords

Justin said...

sufferwords, I'm old school. j.

QuillDancer said...

I am sooo looking forward to tomorrow. The return of COI will be reward enough, even should I not win a fabulously deserved prize.

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