With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

You Don't Know What You Are Addicted To Until It Is Gone.

(Pictured: A box of individually wrapped pistachios that I bought yesterday.)

It didn't occur to me, until the second night at my sister's house: I have a problem.

As a strict Aristotelian I believe moderation in everything. I believe that too much of a good thing is a bad thing.

I believe that something is good if it makes you a better person. I believe that something which is acceptable but doesn’t improve your character is a waste.

Now I am seeing this work out in my own life. I don’t believe that Pistachios are a bad thing in and of themselves. But it is getting kind of out of control.

When I first looked through my sister's cabinets, I noticed that she didn't have pistachios. Thought to myself, 'No Big Deal.' The next morning I went to Giant Eagle. I bought boxes of bags of pistachios and bags of boxes of pistachios. The guy at check out asked if I was having a party. I just smiled.

Here is the problem. Writing encourages snacking. But the genius of pistachios is that it is terribly rewarding to open them. You feel you are accomplishing something. A little bag of pistachios is actually thirty bite sized accomplishments.

If blogging is going well, it might only take me 8 hours to write a post. However snacking at even a sluggish rate, still means we are taking about 8 x 4 bags=32 bags of pistachios per day.

But I am a mature adult who knows that I have to take responsibility for myself. Argo, I will do what an mature person with an addiction does: Find myself a new addiction.

Has anyone had chocolate covered coffee beans? Those look so good.

30 comments:

Jenn said...

New addiction?

I can think of a couple of things, but they're probably not kosher.

Pity.

Justin said...

jenn: I bet you got your ideas from HAL.

170 pages left of Clarissa.

I'm still contemplating your ideas on IJ.

O.K. actually I've just been eating pistachios.

j.

goldennib said...

Justin: Your concept of pistachios being little moments of accomplishment to be celebrated has given me an idea. If we introduce pistachio eating to six year olds just entering school, we could do away with poor self esteem. Everyone will always be accomplished.

part-time buddha said...

everything in moderation, justin. Which includes moderation. So excess is occasionally acceptable.

But I'm a smoker and therefore well-versed in making excuses.

Rooster said...

salty goodness or caffeinated jazzy goodness--so hard to choose. If only they could inject caffeine directly into the pistachios and then dip them in chocolate - there we go!

rooster.

bitingblondewit said...

Hey, instead of rewarding yourself with nuts, maybe you could cuddle your sister's cats instead? Just a thought...
I started reading the Gospel of Mary Magdalene this morning. Hmmm. Am learning much.

Off topic, for those of us who are slightly dyslexic, the word verification is a chore.

QuillDancer said...

BBW -- I think the word verification thingy is dislexic! I know I typed it right!

Goldnenib -- you obviously don't know 6 year olds. Teacher would spend far too much time digging pistachios out of noses and ears (yes, they are old enough not to put them in their own noses and ears, however ....)

Justin -- sunflower seeds are good, too. Want some? I have a bag full right here .....

goldennib said...

BBW: Typing the word verification takes longer for me than typing a comment.

Quilly: I forgot about the orefice issue with small children. No wonder child protective services is always after me.

Justin: Never mind.

Jenn said...

Justin/Hal: I have 110 pages left for Infinite Jest. I think I will beat you. But you can keep your pinkie.

You are making me crave pistachios. Actually, no, I am feeling sick, so I crave nothing so much as sleep.

Toodles.

goldennib said...

Jenn: how about cheese doodles?

Finding Fair Hope said...

BBW, I hate Justin's word verification and I'm not a bit dyslexic. Or should that be cixelsyd? Also, Justin has his site meter blocked so only he can read it and the nosy bastards never know whether he's getting more hits than they are on their blogs. I've mentioned this to him and he thinks it's okay. Also,he may get fat if he keeps on eating pistachios -- I know, it happened to me, and I thought walnuts were supposed to be good for you.

Jenn said...

Nessa: Cheese doodles? What be those? We have cheezels, is that the same thing?

The Once and Future Brian said...

Justin NOOOO! Don't eat the beans! That way lies madness!

Or sugary caffeination. I forget which.

Either way - ill tidings, my friend.

fried_blue said...

Pistacios that come entirely ensconced in their shells inevitably bring little moments of failure.

Grey Shades said...

Hey! I've been reading this blog for some days now thanks to Jenn! And I must say, I've thoroughly enjoyed your humor and the way you write! Will keep coming for more! :)

Justin said...

goldennib: I admire the idea but the fact is that children lack the dexterity to open pistachios in way that wouldn't simply make them feel worse about themselves.

Thanks for bringing up that painful childhood memory of mine. j.

Justin said...

p t b:
Smoking, huh? That could help with pistachio cravings.

j d k

Justin said...

rooster:
With your vision and my..ummm, sense of wanting to get in on something big, I think we have the makings of a brilliant business venture.

justin

Justin said...

bitingblondewit: little bit worried about the ruckus caused by your off topic comment.

jdk

Justin said...

quilly: but where is the challenge in sunflower seeds? They seem so vulnerable. I don't know if I could live with myself taking advantage of such a simple plant. justin

Justin said...

goldennib (2): Hey.

Justin said...

finding fair hope:
Honestly, how long did it take to type out dyslexic backwards? That is time you could have spent working on your word verificaiton skillz. justin

Justin said...

jenn: please tell me you aren't done yet.

Justin said...

the once and future brian:
I have seen apocalyptic movies with a less terrifying premise. I say add a few more lines and take your nightmarish idea to Hollywood. j.

Justin said...

fried blue. That is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. About anything.Ever. Thank you. J

Justin said...

greyshades: thanks for coming by. Which country do you reside in. There is no right or wrong answer, I'm just wondering. j.

sharon said...

Hi Justin,

I don't want to be an enabler or anything, but you should try the Iranian pistachios (assuming you haven't). They sprinkle them with saffron and the effect is a happy one.

Finding Fair Hope said...

Justin: Huh? That was backwards?

Tracy said...

lol

You might want to look into a twelve step program for this issue. :)

danY said...

well at least there are no trans fats. I " accomplished " a whole bag of oh henry bites for breakfast. I do enjoy your humour, though.