With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Justin Brings Order to the English Language

Samuel Johnson composed the first major English dictionary single handedly. He read thousands of books to find endless examples for his definitions. This prompted Johnson's biographer to call him ‘a robust genius born to grapple with whole libraries.’ That inspired me.

So, I’m starting my own Dictionary of Blogging.

I’ve come up with 3 words so far. My next task is to work out which order they go in.

Bling-n. Old English. Contraction of Blog King. Arguably tracable back to Rachel. Arguably. Try and prove it, kid-o. The origins of the word, 'king' are unknown. The origins of the word 'blog' can be traced to one, Mr. Justin Kahn.

Anonymous—Adj.Yiddish. About this one must defer to the standard authority on the Question of Identity, Mr. James Joyce. The Anonymous person is, “unconsciously explaining for inkstands, with a meticulosity bordering on the insane, the various meanings of all the different foreign parts of speech he misused …” (If you think I missused any words do go ahead and see p173- 174 of Finnegan’s Wake.) Ex. According to Anonymous, "Justin is the Bling."

Humphrey Blogart—Slang. Proper noun, living in Cleveland. A debonair gentleman who devotes too much time to blogging. Well-versed in philosophy, literature and forensic odentology. Uses big words unnecessarily, to impress people. It doesn't work. Which makes him sad. But perhaps a dictionary isn't the right place to reach out for companionship?

14 comments:

kelmaree said...

Your use of unnecessary big words, did impress me, wow, that whole Anonymous bit was lost on me, and i classify myself as at least literate, well i did until now, so u see it does work.

Lisa said...

I'm glad you finally decided to give Samuel Johnson credit for his "Dictionary of the English Language"....At justinkahn.com you cited Ben Johnson as the illustrious lexicographer, which I'm sure Sam did not appreciate. ;)

marco said...

Justin,
This morning I was driving around aimlessly (as is my custom on Mondays) and I saw a man PUSHING A BIKE UP A VERY STEEP HILL!?! I thought to myself this is crazy. This is what's wrong with America these days. One, it would be easier to RIDE the bike. And two, it would be easier to go DOWN the hill -- not up!! This sort of thing is precisely why the Chinese are winning the space race.
Outraged,
Marco

Justin said...

Kelmaree:
Your Dissertation Has Made Me Jocund.
Justin

Justin said...

Lisa:
I'm glad that one of us reads justinkahn.com.

That kind of faulty information is precisely why I stopped reading it.

Justin

Justin said...

Dear Outraged:
Thank you for your recent comment regarding your feelings of being Marco at seeing the Modern Day Sisyphus play the fool.

I think I will have a cup of tea.

As always,
With Fondest Good Wishes,
Justin

Lisa said...

Do you really think I could continue to read a website that posted such a grievous offense against the history of the English language? The memory of the erroneous citation haunts me to this day I just didn’t mentioned it till now because I feared that only James Boswell would understand my pain….

And, obviously I was right ;)

stephan said...

Justin:
I am giving up on "consider the lobster." The footnote within the two-page long footnote did me in. I am reading DeLillo's Mao II instead. No footnotes.
-sjs

Justin said...

Lisa:
Jim Boswell? Never heard of him.
Thanks,
Justin

Justin said...

sjs:
Mao II is a good choice. But I do think it is a mistake, maybe the worst of your life, to not reaed his essay on Dostoevsky.
jdk

WIP said...

i'd like to know the origin of Comment and Post

care to share Justin?

Nan said...

Cool and funny. I came because your blog is to the right of mine, a very good place to be.

Best, Nan

kelmaree said...

Jocund, cool word, had to look it up, glad to have made u cheerful (or merry) :-)

Philip said...

My love of Humphrey Blogart is ever growing