With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

EBS

A number of you noticed that yesterday's post didn't go up until the early afternoon. A good percentage of you got rather worked up. Some went so far as to suppress your fear only to later express these emotions by telling me I'm irresponsible.

You my dear, vigilant readers, were rightly concerned about me. As would be expected, SJS, guessed that I was part of a murder-suicide pact. This would be expected b/c I was not a part of a murder-suicide pact, and SJS is never right about anything outside of the highly rarified field of Fantasy Football Intellectual Property Law.

There was no emergency. However, it was a good reminder that we must be prepared for an emergency around here.

Therefore, today's post is a test of the Emergency Blog System(EBS). While readers may be familiar with a similiar system used on television (TV) it is important that you pay close attention to today's post. It could save your life or the life of someone you love or the life of someone you once loved but have grown apart from.

In the event that an actual emergency occurs while visiting Conceptofirony (COI):

If flying when an actual emergency occurs COI may be used as a parachute.

In the even of a crash landing into water COI will serve as a flotation device.

Should smoke fill your room, COI may be used to purify air.

COI can also be used to purify up to 30 gallons of water.

If you absolutely must pass through fire, than wrap yourself snugly in the COI and jump through.

To be best prepared for a real emergency please take a moment to identify emergency exits.

Time is of the essence. Do not stop to jot down quotes or smile at pictures. Run!

COI doesn't want to be viewed as a hero. Ol' COI wants little more than to save the world and than retire to a night of dancing to Motown hits in it's underwear.

Today's post was sponsored by FEMA (FEMA).

16 comments:

part-time buddha said...

Yes, but what good is COI if I'm speeding through a mountain pass and have to swerve to miss a pig (an actual pig)?

Jenn said...

What if the emergency is even more dire?

Like you fail to post for a week and all your readers are running around in circles, flapping their hands anxiously, wondering, wondering, wondering...

What happened to Justin?

and more importantly...

Will he return?

Mind Curry said...

can i use COI as a flying device if i am stuck in a traffic jam?

Jinbon H Wrong aka Sloop John B said...

This site is so cute it make me squeal.

Dita said...

Motown hits in COI-protective underwear? Spandex you say?

Anonymous said...

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Justin said...

mind curry:

You may use COI to such ends, as long as you remember to check in with my mother regularly. Than everyone is happy.

jdk

Justin said...

dita: Don't be silly. How could Motown hits wear underwear of any sort?

J.

Justin said...

jinbon:

Umm. Thanks. I think.

j

Ms.B said...

Cool sight.

Pirate Val said...

Pirate Val thinks you are very clever. Pirate Val just spent the last hour reading almost everything you wrote. Pirate Val is inspired by your blog.

Pirate Val would have a huge crush on you if she knew what you looked like.

Mind Curry said...

i religiously do that..usually in the mornings..and if things dont seem well, i do it in the evenings as well. because i never know when the traffic really jams.

Justin said...

ms.b:
thanks.

mr.j

Justin said...

Pirate Val:

For the last 6 years, I have been training myself to be a writer. During that time I have worked 19 hours a day at it.

I'm very pleased that my efforts providied you with nearly an hour of entertainment.

I am also very pleased to hear that you are so very in touch with your emotions that you can be honest about potential feelings.

This is, I believe, the closest I will get to bliss, and so I think today is going to be a good day.

Justin said...

mind curry:

Do you ever take pictures of the traffic jams? Something to consider.

My camera is making more aware of photo opps.


justin

Anonymous said...

Yes, but can COI protect you from the passive aggresive ultra-competitive invisible hand economic darwinism that has been dangled like a plump carrot by Toms Top Blog's?
Is this your path to supremacy...