With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

I am the New York Times

Might it be said that “everything {I} write could have been written twenty years ago...{I} have no sense of the current world situation,” as a certain source has suggested to me in personal correspondence?

Well yes, it might be said, but you’d look pretty foolish saying that after reading this post. You see, if there is one thing my careful study of Marx has taught me it is that, ‘Blogging must not serve an ideal but the proletariat; the proletariat is only served by discussing their concrete conditions.”

Here's my analysis of the current world situation.

N. America Big Film Festival in Cleveland! Wa-Hoo, as they say.

S. America Looking good.

Europe If your American in the Kitchen, and Asian in the Dining room, what are you in the bathroom? European. Take that Jon Stewart.

Africa Bono is working on a cure for AIDS.

Asia I keep meaning to get stuff for my bread maker. I think I’ll go to Trader Joe’s. I wish I could make Hawaiian bread. It seems like it would take a lot of work. Hey speaking of Hawaii, that’s another place where news is happening. If I could go to Hawaii, I'd just eat lots of their bread and watch all the contemporary news happening.

Australia Is an advanced civilization, submerged under water. One of the earlitest references to 'Australia' comes from Plato. Despite that interesting philosophical tidbit, there is no such place. It is mythical like the girl that eharmony sends you one day before your memberships expires, forcing you to renew. So, naturally there is no news.

Antarctica G’Day mate! Lots of news happening over here! Have a kangaroo!


Mujer del Rio said...

doubt pinchy is worried.

Kurt said...

You've confused Australia with Atlantis, and Antarctica with Australia.

Ronymaru. said...


kelmaree said...

G'day to u too, just saying hey from mythical Australia, i think u got all us A's a bit mixed up - or did u do that on purpose?? - was it a joke i missed?? is everyone reading this and laughing at the poor dumb Aussie??
well fine , ill go talk to my kangaroo