With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Good to Be Back Home

Spending spring break in Cancun made me appreciate how good I have it in Cleveland. I did have a slight mishap on the return flight home. Just after taking off, the plane's #2 engine caught fire and had to be turned off. The captain told us this would result in a slight delay, but that everything would be O.K.

The captain was overly optimistic. In the ensuing minutes the remaining two engines were lost and than all three hydraulics system went to zero pressure. Also, the ugliest little baby you've ever seen would not stop crying. That is what really got to me.

You, my beloved confidante, know how humble I am. That's why this next part is a bit embarrassing for me to talk about.

Basically, I jotted down a few calculations and came up with a method of navigating the plane by manually moving flaps, readjusting passenger weight, and having everyone flap their arms("I just flew from cancun...and boy are my arms tired" wasn't a joke for us as we flapped for our lives.) This allowed us to gain a moderate amount of navigational control and completely control the altitude.

Unfortunately, I didn't see a mountain, which the plane eventually collided with. And a really big mountain. I feel bad I didn't see it earlier. No one survived but me.

You are probably thinking I and I only survived b/c the fates prefer me. Not at all. When the plane crashed into the side of the mountain, I was in my chair with the seatbelt fastened and the tray in the upright position.

And that has made all the difference.

9 comments:

Amy said...

yes, but did you know there was a white sale at penney's?

Pirate said...

I hope you ate the ugly baby to survive.

The Humanity Critic said...

Thank goodness you madfe it home safely..

Gordo said...

I am so glad someone has respect for rules.

Rabbit said...

But was your carry-on bag correctly stowed away in the overhead compartment?

Jule said...

Justin reads a LOT

The Sanity Inspector said...

At least no one called you "Shirley."

Winter said...

I often wonder if I could bring a parachute as my carry-on.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Goodness! You deserve a smoke after all of that... too bad smoking isn't allowed on the plane.