Ladies, I think we’ve all been on dates where the man does nothing but talk. From appetizer through dessert, it’s all about him. By the time dinner is finished, you know everything about him. Or if not everything, certainly more than you expected to know. It turns out that there is an evolutionary reason for this.1
In Sex, Time and Power, Leonard Shalin posits that men fall in love with their eyes and women fall in love with their ears. This certainly helps explain why so many men direct their conversation at a woman’s breasts-they don’t initially care what she has to say, only how she looks. Interestingly enough, women tend to be more impressed with what a man has to say than how he looks. Conversation was the original sexual lubricant, with humans communicating with each other “more often, and over a longer period of time, before they have consensual sex than any other animal.” 2
In any given day, a man will speak approximately 2000 words and a woman 7000. During the courtship stage of a relationship, this ratio changes-hence the chatty first date. “Speech is an integral aspect of courting and a key component to successful mating. Ultimately, a man must be skilled in the art of wooing if he hopes to pass along his genes3.” So when he doesn’t pause to ask you questions it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s self-absorbed. It may indicate that he’s interested.
1. When in doubt, always blame evolution.
2. Sex, Time and Power page 201.
3. Ibid.
