With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

The Most Important Blogging About Dave Eggers Ever: Part One of ?

By Guest Blogger Shannon "Minimalism Sucks" Simpson.

I’m still trying to piece together the events of last week. Isn’t it strange how one day you really think you know yourself and within hours that can all change? That was how it was for me last week when I encountered Dave Eggers for the first time at the Akron Public Library. Some of you may know me as Shannon and others of you may only know me from the Gypsies and Soothsayers that refer to me under burdened wagon trains as “The One.” Regardless of what you are about to read, I will always maintain that much as yourself I am just one lonely being that decided upon this difficult road that we call life.

It was a cold night as I steered my car through the rain from Cleveland towards the Akron Public Library or, fate, as I know refer to that edifice of knowledge. I had my good pal Vegaterri in the passenger seat and we sang lovely folk songs like “Whip It Good” in glorious harmonies unaware of the looming danger. Things seemed to be going really well for us when a native Akron Townie informed us that, no, we didn’t have to pay for that spot after six; and we took our seats a full 2 dollars and 25 cents richer than we had planned. But this is when things started to get strange.

Dave was late. And when Dave did arrive he was without his speaking companion Valentino. Everyone was concerned and Dave didn’t seem quite able to shake the fear that had obviously entered his trembling hands and eyes. His jokes were minimal and it became obvious quickly that this was not the Dave of “A Heartbreaking Work…” Then our eyes met and locked. While Dave pointed out people from the audience and answered their questions he kept his eyes lasered on mine and the connection between us was undeniable. “I’m married” I mouthed to Dave while he spoke of Valentino’s village. “That’s not why I need you!” His eyes answered desperately. I looked away.

As the auditorium emptied and we made our way to the line to wait for an autograph someone placed a note in my hand. I looked around but couldn’t catch who might have put it there.



alecia said...

who the heck is dave eggers? he's kind of attractive.

Justin said...

alfred e newman,

Guess where I saw your friend J.

At Sushi Rock.

She ignored me.


P.S. The Eggman is the founder of Mcsweeneys and a pulitzer prize nominated Wunderkid.

alecia said...

she ignored you?!
i bet not.
she's actually very nice.
it was her 21st bday two days ago!
she said she was expecting a present from you, but you failed.