With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween! With Some Notes on Why Do All the Lonely People Decide To Pretend Like Their Deepest Fantasy Is to Be Repulsive?

I think I speak for most singles when I say that Halloween is the loneliest day of the year.

First, I know this has been said before but Halloween was created by the greeting cards industry to sell more greeting cards. Why should I, just because I have mild Aspergers Syndrome and am unable to form relationships, have Halloween shoved in my face and be reminded that I am not like other people?

You see, the one thing that Halloween reminds me of is that I have a rather scandalous and unusual predilection. I am embarrassed to say it, but I suppose it is not that worst confession made on the internet: I have a thing for beautiful girls.

Every relationship that I have ruined this year was with a girl who was Totally Hot. Every relationship that I wanted, but didn’t materialize, was with a girl who was totally hot. I have developed crushes on girls for no other reason than that they were extremely to extraordinarily hot.

Models and former models, Aspiring Bollywood Stars, 9.5’s in careers unrelated to their extraordinary beauty —each is precious to me.

I have a thing for hot girls. (I may generally be opposed to Halloween but I’d kill for a good mask right now to hide my blushing face.)

And so as if I’m not embarrassed enough of my bizaare tastes, here comes Halloween. Why is the rest of the world so very attracted to the hideous, the deformed, the repulsive? Why do other guys flock around Zombies and Vampires and the Undead?

For the past week, beautiful girls taunted me about how they hope they look good in there family unfriendly costume of an Icosahedron.

If only I could say, “I want to see you as you are---done up just like in the headshots your agent sends out. Other men might desire the repulsive. You don’t have to disfigure yourself for me. Not today not ever.”

But I won't say it. And nothing could be more horrifying as these girls dressed as chemical spills and sundry WMD’s walk by leaving me feeling numb and more alone than ever.

Happy, Happy, Happy Halloween.

22 comments:

Page said...

By the way, your use of "there" is incorrect and should be exchanged for the word spelled "their."

Bravo on taking on a tough subject and mounting it.

Hot girls around the globe (me included) salute you for not being afraid to stick up for us.

Happy Halloween

Comrade Kevin said...

It is very brave of you to come out like this Justin. I just hope that your readers can keep a broad mind on the subject and not start calling you mean epitaths like a 'freakish devient' or a 'perversion of nature' or a 'sick wacko'.

I would go on but I better save some terms for others to use.

goldennib said...

It's such a shame tha celebraties feel they must come out with their dirty little secrets to garner sympathy and seem more down to earth.

Happy All Hallow's Eve. Kiss a ghost.

Angry Gnome said...

It must have been tough for you to write that post. Such honesty.

If it's one thing that the world needs more of, it's hot people who aren't afraid of their hotness. Let's hope that your post shows them they can live out in the open without fear.

Jenn said...

And so? Did it answer?

QuillDancer said...

Justin, Hallmark has a lot to answer for.

Taihae said...

recognizing that you have a problem is the first step to getting help, Justin. And I want you to remember that Jesus is always there. He'll accept and love anyone, even filthy perverted depraved freaks. Probably.

love,
a hot, hot girl. like, totally hot.

Justin said...

page,you included amongst globes? I dont' get it. But happy halloween. j.

Justin said...

comrade k, I thank you. I need all the support I can get. I hope that my bravery and courage will allow other men (should they exist) who have the same tastes to admit it to themselves and others. j.

Maleah said...

Apparently a hot girl is a WMD. No costume required.

Justin said...

goldennib, the only ghost around here is a toot-a-holic.I don't dare get close enough for a smooch. j.

Justin said...

angry gnome, Or let's at least hope that even if they can't live out in the open, they will at least send me there #. The world will only change with baby steps. We can't expect the whole world to be as broad minded as me. j.

Justin said...

jenn, it? j.

Justin said...

quilly, to say nothing of papyrus. they take all of my money. j.

Justin said...

taihae,
It is unclear to me, how you view yourself. Please clarify. j.

Justin said...

maleah, oh yeah. No you get why I have a shirt that says UN Inspector. Which hasn't really gotten the response from WMD's I had kind of expected. j.

Taihae said...

you going to my blog is like jesus showing up at my house...and bringing three new release dvds and a box of godiva chocolates...

Grey Shades said...

Wasnt the most lonliest day Valentines Day? ;)

Sassy Sundry said...

Justin, now that you have faced yourself, good things will happen to you. You will find your hot girl, and you will never be lonley on All Hallows again.

Jenn said...

It. Your tactic for getting hot girls to swarm all over you by admitting to this weakness, this weakness, this amiable weakness.

Come now Justin, did it answer?

Lexa Roséan said...

the witches actually believe that the costume you choose for Halloween (or Samhain) represents the energy you will invoke for the year. So they choose to dress up like beautiful gods and goddesses!

Mushroomhead and Wolfboy said...

here here!
actually this made me laugh quite a bit, i don't know if it was intentional or not but i was entertained by the humor.