With Continual Reference to Justin Kahn.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

From My Dream Journal (I)

Dream --05-16-06
I am on an airplane. The left wing rips off. Screams, Tears, Vomit Bags, Oxygen Masks. A stewardess asks if there are any writers on the plane.

I stand up and say, “Well, I have a blog.”

A number of people around me nod their head in admiration.

The plane is shaking dangerously, but I am unafraid. I make my way to the stewardess.

The stewardess explains the situation to me. There are a group of kids in the front. They are a group of home schoolers. None of them watch TV. They are classically trained. Their education is built around the trivum: Grammar, Rhetoric, Logic.

I remember this part of my dream very vividly. I remember thinking to myself, “But what can I do? I’m just a blogger.”

She explains, “These kids are very language oriented. They are having a hard time understanding the emergency instructions, because it is all in silly pictures. They need someone to translate it into pristine prose for them.”

I go back to my seat and start working on my laptop. I pretend not to notice all the admiring glances.

I begin typing away.

It’s not my best work, but under these conditions, I realize that no one can fault me. I show the finished draft to one of the kids. I ask him if he understands it. But when he opens his mouth no words come out. Just a beeping noise.

That when I realize that I’m not on an airplane, but in my bed! And that beeping noise? It’s my bread maker, announcing that a new loaf is done!!

But why would my bread maker be in my bed room?

I tried asking this question out loud, but instead of words beeping came out!!!

That’s when I realized I was in my bed and it was the alarm clock going off!!!!

Analysis. Oh, I almost forgot that yesterday I was on this plane, and it nearly crashed but after writing out directions I fixed the hydraulics system. When I came home I made some bread and was woken up by Timothy (My bread maker).


KLoE said...

hey guys!!! please try and visit my blog sometime whenever your not busy...

and please leave a comment before you leave! = )


Les said...

flight attendant

Justin said...

Thanks, Les. I didn't mean to offend those chicks.

noelle said...


part-time buddha said...

I can't tell if you're becoming more ironic or just plain crazy. but, I suppose, irony is as irony does.

Justin said...

p t b:

I can't tell either.



Justin said...

Thanks Noelle. What exactly is the meaning of your blog title?

Jenn said...

Freud would have had a field day with you.

The home-schooled child beeped. He was a bread (as in money?) maker. Then he was the alarm clock. Timothy.

I'm sure there are some deeply sexual connotations to this.

Rhianne said...

Don't you get weird dream translater websites about this and stuff? You should ask someone. . . you get some pretty creepy meanings.

EclecticGrl said...

Weird dream, cool blog. I'll check back often.

Marsha said...

Your dreams are almost as colorful as mine! :) Good story

silent T said...

Are you associating with people in person anymore or just on your blog? I got an interview for a faculty position, i think that deserves coffee. If you would prefer, we can both bring our laptops and talk through your blog.

WIP said...


i have nothing to say
cept your dreams are better than mine

Chuck said...

wow that is really messed up dream

Jean said...

Bread machine? Really? Rapid rising? Weird.

Paulish said...

I just couldn't stop reading....you're mind is a strangely awesome place!

drift said...

I need to have / remember more of my dreams. They're so cool when I do, but it pisses me off when (most of the time) I don't.

Lucky bast.
Slightly disturbed, perhaps, but pretty lucky.

Jaime said...

Your dream is my real life. I homeschool and we don't have a tv and my kids don't speak, they just beep, and that beeping sound has always reminded me of my breadmaker that I set to wake me up instead of the alarm clock. All true . . . almost.

(I stumbled upon your blog and now I'm addicted to your disturbed ramblings. I don't know whether to thank you or go into blog rehab.)

QuillDancer said...

The reason the plane almost crashed is because the irony exceeded the weight limit. I'm sure the beeping was a frantic metal detector. As for your sanity, in this world you'd have to be crazy to want to be sane.