An Emergency Second Posting: T.G.I. Spring Break

Turns out my comment function was disabled, somehow. Plus, two days ago I talked with Audrey (see Valentine’s Day era posts)

Tuesday
ME: You were calling four times a day. Now, you don’t call anymore.
AUDREY: It’s my cell phone. It’s doing strange things. Because of the solar flares I think.
ME: It’s that guy isn’t it?
AUDREY: No. Not at all. Not in the least. Not even somewhat. Oh, I would never ever go out with him. He’s uninteresting and dorky and inferior to you in every way.
Wednesday
ME: So I can’t see you. It is that guy isn’t it.
AUDREY: No. We divorced.
ME: Divorced?
AUDREY: Yeah in my gut I knew I shouldn’t have gotten involved. But what’s a girl to do? Passions, emotions, feelings. We were just friends, than we were Dating, Engaged, Married, Separated, Back Together, Divorced.
ME: I specifically asked you if you would go out with him. You said no. You lied to me.
AUDREY: If you think about it, really you are the liar.
ME: What?
AUDREY: Well, somebody was lied to. And I couldn’t see far enough in the future to lie about it.
ME: Are emotions shipped to you? Or downloaded? Can you really not know three hours in advance? (I'm sorry dear readers that you have to see my spewing such venom.)
AUDREY: It's just none of this happened until yesterday.
ME: Since Yesterday? I find it hard to believe that you pack so much into a day.
AUDREY: You believe it when Jack Bauer does it.

That pushed me over the edge. That’s why I’m leaving tonight, going on a real spring break. I don’t know if Internet will be available, but if I can, I’ll keep you posted.