tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168118522024-03-06T23:51:52.056-05:00The Concept of IronyWith Continual Reference to <a href="mailto:Justin_Kahn@hotmail.com">Justin Kahn</a>.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.comBlogger467125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-58947828974695509162013-07-23T21:33:00.000-04:002013-07-23T21:34:00.545-04:00Into The Attic With You<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPiXW_cdoFL11lQpSxl8Ef730m0GfLVv3Z3PYsEdMgtXJ0cIUPJu2HfYk1EXEh6zfxL1Svz-o-a4G6mqxsSoyO2uufEyz6zW0yKppM__yvVeNvr9D3ffv1CC7BRfXULRtagqM5/s1600/to+the+attic.png" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPiXW_cdoFL11lQpSxl8Ef730m0GfLVv3Z3PYsEdMgtXJ0cIUPJu2HfYk1EXEh6zfxL1Svz-o-a4G6mqxsSoyO2uufEyz6zW0yKppM__yvVeNvr9D3ffv1CC7BRfXULRtagqM5/s320/to+the+attic.png" /></a>
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<br />
<strike></strike>In Fellini's 8& 1/2 Guido has a dream. He comes home to a house filled with women. Most women, in this dream, willingly go up stairs when they get too old for his attention. When one doesn't want to go upstairs, he takes up a whip and seperates out the young and old.
<br />
<br />
Today, I came home to a similiar situation.
I usually have a mixture of young and old books.
Like Guido, I have strong preferences about age. Today I came home to find my living room and dining room and office filled with books under twenty-five years old. To the upstairs they go.
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://monkeybicycle.net/old-archive/Kahn/martin.html">This is another thing.</a>
Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-36111829339700087062013-07-21T19:10:00.000-04:002013-07-22T20:25:11.514-04:00I Just Tried to Like a Comment on My BlogFacebook has damaged my attention span and my responsiveness.
Please read entries from "Writing is Easy" until I fix that. Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-20041996660653819052013-07-11T23:09:00.001-04:002013-07-11T23:09:05.849-04:00www.justinkahn.com is for Sale.For just $2,095 I can have my old domain name back.
I guess renewing it for $9.95 last year would have made more sense. Hundreds and hundreds of people a day used to get redirected here. But then I got distracted. The prettiest girls weren't interested in somebody who wrote hours a day. Which was fine: 24 went off the air so I had less to say.
My manservant started popping out babies, I lost the paddle to my bread maker and my long term, contingent fiancé moved to somewhere.
DFW sent me some real mixed messages about how good the brain is at sorting out life.
Plus, people stopped reading blogs in 2008.
But now, I have sorted everything out. Everything that once confused me is clear.
And I started writing under a penname.
I have been writing brilliant works of fiction and sending them out under a different name so that I don't have to worry about how my uncompromising honesty would affect the people who I often write about.
And best of all my penname, ujstinkahn.com is available for $9.99.
I think I'm back on track. Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-76767447945714621602008-09-14T11:59:00.001-04:002008-09-15T12:01:44.266-04:00DFW: February 21, 1962 – September 12, 2008<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxQbPAGy_fjX3u9sNkEBilkQcCKluSgN_-G-YxBl02K4GPn06JMGLxu5O9mte_l3c1OSMfRvDtqeJQP4KubSOcnNHxpWKpyBu2z3faA3W2BmcsKW24EjorCKo_UN4c0TAjewMs/s1600-h/davidfosterwallaceoe8.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxQbPAGy_fjX3u9sNkEBilkQcCKluSgN_-G-YxBl02K4GPn06JMGLxu5O9mte_l3c1OSMfRvDtqeJQP4KubSOcnNHxpWKpyBu2z3faA3W2BmcsKW24EjorCKo_UN4c0TAjewMs/s320/davidfosterwallaceoe8.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5246278652883751762" /></a>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-36060260720804596582008-09-09T19:31:00.006-04:002008-09-09T20:00:00.325-04:00I Dream of Someday Writing an Entire Blog Composed of Quotations."Such romantic claptrap...such childish drivel...but the kid was in despair over his ruined ambitions, facing up to the fact that he didn't have it in him to do the one thing he had always wanted to do, and he ran off in an impulsive attempt to redeem himself in his own eyes." <br /><br /> ---Paul Auster "Man in the Dark" <br /><br />For further plagiarism see also <a href="http://conceptofirony.blogspot.com/2006/01/most-essential-use-of-blog.html">The Most Essential Use of a Blog</a>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-87394606447033594822008-09-01T11:41:00.001-04:002008-09-01T11:44:13.330-04:00Justin Kahnis probably addicted to <a href="http://www.facebook.com/srch.php?nm=Justin+Kahn">facebook</a>.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-72796978364423264872008-07-17T20:36:00.001-04:002008-07-17T20:24:53.115-04:00Book Review Week Continued:Pride Cometh In the Summer.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnQhpbaVOFIJZhb5lEMvR7YxCSPoWRVDv_WDJLZ47TiDE96StzngiL-RlVZabL_-KgPOb3KCywIlwvesKBxBCH_qF0g14Z-1uSpECNN_b75xdCx4_v2XjuSm7I4Au1ZdzEh19H/s1600-h/bookshelf.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnQhpbaVOFIJZhb5lEMvR7YxCSPoWRVDv_WDJLZ47TiDE96StzngiL-RlVZabL_-KgPOb3KCywIlwvesKBxBCH_qF0g14Z-1uSpECNN_b75xdCx4_v2XjuSm7I4Au1ZdzEh19H/s320/bookshelf.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223776809514015874" /></a> Today we are reviewing a whole bunch of books I have on computers. These books contain every manner of deep wisdom about how complex computer systems work. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheNWHlfpI7kZ3Ab7TNVsibR0_xXtyMHuPdeXEOagGgB7rczmJmnz7bSekK6HaDpnOcZMj0NO9nrH4-0YHLu-oBRKYzJUCBx0MDie5VZBEQDR-UOOnZ4sot0eJvJGS9DNyJ6npN/s1600-h/uhoh.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheNWHlfpI7kZ3Ab7TNVsibR0_xXtyMHuPdeXEOagGgB7rczmJmnz7bSekK6HaDpnOcZMj0NO9nrH4-0YHLu-oBRKYzJUCBx0MDie5VZBEQDR-UOOnZ4sot0eJvJGS9DNyJ6npN/s320/uhoh.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223777214276935506" /></a> <br />But beware! Read these books with humility. For if you do not, you will think that your mastery of the domain of computers and robots is complete and total. And then in a fit of genius you will take your ipod apart and have no idea how to put it back together again.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-6197672380486898572008-07-13T20:06:00.015-04:002008-07-14T16:41:52.199-04:00Book Review Week: "When You Are Engulfed in Flames" by David Sedaris<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh49dWejaHS95Zw3qwZU696z5oQzHVPMgXE3cjPTfSRRV-Nh_KF6mxaxyH-6pPcCnUZ3gpetfN6Y79wmF4sFg6Oy2bHOPFFcfgXB-ISxx81hgN38E793ArznQcxStiE55G_SKAS/s1600-h/dave.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5222656432627684818" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh49dWejaHS95Zw3qwZU696z5oQzHVPMgXE3cjPTfSRRV-Nh_KF6mxaxyH-6pPcCnUZ3gpetfN6Y79wmF4sFg6Oy2bHOPFFcfgXB-ISxx81hgN38E793ArznQcxStiE55G_SKAS/s320/dave.JPG" border="0" /></a> Unlike Dave Sedaris' other books, this one is inscribed to my father. As a struggling writer, it is is nice to hear what already established authors, especially ones I personally value,have to say.<br /><br /><br />Because with all of the insecurities, all the doubts, all of the difficulties that are unique to being an author, one does often wake up in the middle of the night wondering, "But is my father enchanting?"<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0jlujKJiN-OfeUeB9s6aFgGJpFafdJj9ydlZqzV-w0P52KEhEde1GDjrFd14JbrFe9ETnfzTgzywX0ajhBBstCza5lygAXZ72acqrAb6LhO1uLFsOT0WvfrXOpsEuIgk9uZs0/s1600-h/when-you-are-engulfed-in-flames-hardcover-small.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0jlujKJiN-OfeUeB9s6aFgGJpFafdJj9ydlZqzV-w0P52KEhEde1GDjrFd14JbrFe9ETnfzTgzywX0ajhBBstCza5lygAXZ72acqrAb6LhO1uLFsOT0WvfrXOpsEuIgk9uZs0/s320/when-you-are-engulfed-in-flames-hardcover-small.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5222658774700086898" /></a><br />For Further Reading on How Great Authors have Reacted to Justin Please See:<br /><br /><a href="http://conceptofirony.blogspot.com/2007/06/in-which-justin-recieves-extra-helping.html">Garrison Keilor</a>.<br /><br /><a href="http://conceptofirony.blogspot.com/2007/11/i-am-not-making-this-up-i-am-best.html">Dave Barry.</a>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-88163200716527584422008-06-24T14:24:00.003-04:002008-06-24T14:28:44.209-04:00So then, save me, save me.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0zDRHbl4VFMThr3m2RiatVViw6XWdYaQQRlzXNyg_evNPgStiSsiUEeJPuXDuQTAaF58K0Bwtba_fR92wv6A15BM1emKzv2Uq6C0cfc9N7lb_j8c2vKeh8LJ9S92FMjTvAqAQ/s1600-h/moz-screenshot-9.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5215515900150775058" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0zDRHbl4VFMThr3m2RiatVViw6XWdYaQQRlzXNyg_evNPgStiSsiUEeJPuXDuQTAaF58K0Bwtba_fR92wv6A15BM1emKzv2Uq6C0cfc9N7lb_j8c2vKeh8LJ9S92FMjTvAqAQ/s320/moz-screenshot-9.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Photo is courtesy of the very pious <a href="http://radioactivecotton.blogspot.com/2008/06/four-saved-in-oh-hi-oh.html">Radioactive Cotton.</a>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-83545124533346917492008-06-03T19:33:00.004-04:002008-06-03T19:48:54.911-04:00The Practice of Medicine Used to Be About So Much More Than Just Getting Stuff That You Could Steal on Your Own.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlungDP6izeUTQI2FY6swKZHu42TtEJ4_uHEFyAqHuciZgyX8vOZVAK73MONz4VHVy9VnEfDvU3kTx79yFb8VTZh-v53ZNDGYJmEuzOurQxGjB1LhmN0HuDgqMicNdPLTr7GMc/s1600-h/medicine1.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlungDP6izeUTQI2FY6swKZHu42TtEJ4_uHEFyAqHuciZgyX8vOZVAK73MONz4VHVy9VnEfDvU3kTx79yFb8VTZh-v53ZNDGYJmEuzOurQxGjB1LhmN0HuDgqMicNdPLTr7GMc/s320/medicine1.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5207803100894814530" /></a><br />I called and made an appointment! <br /><br />I waited in the lobby and in the exam room! <br /><br />The doctor gave me a prescription I could have "Picked Up On My Own."<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB2CS6GUgxVeH55VifbMqSU2YTs7SIvURDfsXlTjOJgtSsiCBiUwMmDGfjxd-Ip_NlQJz_2pIAYcT9GuAQnCeEDn0O06jAiJjgNkBd5Mzvo6mx5i4F1fOHqW9oLKgt-bdxnjeI/s1600-h/Medicine2.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB2CS6GUgxVeH55VifbMqSU2YTs7SIvURDfsXlTjOJgtSsiCBiUwMmDGfjxd-Ip_NlQJz_2pIAYcT9GuAQnCeEDn0O06jAiJjgNkBd5Mzvo6mx5i4F1fOHqW9oLKgt-bdxnjeI/s320/Medicine2.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5207803423017361746" /></a><br /><br />And call me old fashioned, but if you steal OTC prescriptions at least you aren't responsible for killing the hundreds of trees necessary to wrap up single sample pills.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-90790202575211698092008-05-27T13:01:00.005-04:002008-05-27T13:38:20.082-04:00Family CircusThe parents are in town. That puts a lot of presure on me, because they always said when I was growing up that they wanted me to be more then just a really brilliant blogger.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9yD8mcYMY6FVwU0TYlEm_9-GLRHLwZpEQpFhAik8WW1z5eFlUMzeBxQvu_XN_VufgiD0ti1iObVKVpVK3AcfnZ7LqH8ojToR2NG2WUa_zm6uoSKN5ywelv2u9_ZM15GM_hmTl/s1600-h/art.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9yD8mcYMY6FVwU0TYlEm_9-GLRHLwZpEQpFhAik8WW1z5eFlUMzeBxQvu_XN_VufgiD0ti1iObVKVpVK3AcfnZ7LqH8ojToR2NG2WUa_zm6uoSKN5ywelv2u9_ZM15GM_hmTl/s320/art.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5205106179260506418" /></a><br />You would think that being a really brilliant visual artist would count for something, but who can blame them if they just want me to get<a href="http://www.utterwonder.com/ultimate/"> a book deal</a>. <br /><br /><br /><strong>KEY FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND AVANT GARDE ART.</strong><br />J=Justin<br />M=Mom<br />D=Dad<br />L=Lexi<br />L=Leo<br />P=I forget because I drew this cartoon a few days ago, and can't remember what I was thinking.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-77770757620419599152008-05-21T06:00:00.000-04:002008-05-21T06:00:01.002-04:00Murder-Suicide?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieqM2DKmIaB-d3a1WcfiK4Cag0SFsZ1OcDEDQtaCzRFVw09TrIqV_oDs6O0uT5eEwW8TAByECF3XND1IGnYp4_VJsgBVhtjAYryaW1FRZpJiFVzVKfu3PYNQTg4H4exvh84Ec0/s1600-h/crimescene.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieqM2DKmIaB-d3a1WcfiK4Cag0SFsZ1OcDEDQtaCzRFVw09TrIqV_oDs6O0uT5eEwW8TAByECF3XND1IGnYp4_VJsgBVhtjAYryaW1FRZpJiFVzVKfu3PYNQTg4H4exvh84Ec0/s320/crimescene.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5202499067417669890" /></a><br /><br />No, just two lazy golden doodles engaging in marathon napping!Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-14863907701716440862008-05-19T06:00:00.001-04:002008-05-19T06:00:00.778-04:00Roy G. Biv at Seventy.I’d like to think I made a difference, but everyone does. And now I’m useless. The years of being around kids finally took their toll. Not the kids, themselves, of course. It was all the sugar that caused adult diabetes, which led to my cloudy, almost non-existent vision.<br /><br />What is the world like? Colors could have changed a lot since I was in my prime. Or they could be nonexistent. I don’t know, and it seems I’m going to spend my last days never knowing. <br /><br />I have my sense of smell though. That is something to pass on to the kids: Rancid. Odor Yucky? I could change my name—but why should I? I can’t think of any more words for odors. Not any that kids would have to know throughout their whole life. And even if they did have to know them through their whole life, it isn’t like they would ever visit me and tell me about how I helped them find the right word for talking about their experience. <br /><br />They never visit, they probably don’t even remember me, after first grade.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-15914700921655757662008-05-16T20:19:00.005-04:002008-05-16T20:33:46.044-04:00Nothing Spells Truble Like Watching My Niece.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUREvZOtkViO3Dbrhk_oH5EqKAFbhfDWF4aCIjn9YA7EUxJO6DhYt17k3xUQmbcALdMsBcuparX2HshMAD88uXRF_mrhDLi6w7DT2JdJBd7Zc6rabFQtDcgaMXAWHiZpPBaJG_/s1600-h/wackiness.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUREvZOtkViO3Dbrhk_oH5EqKAFbhfDWF4aCIjn9YA7EUxJO6DhYt17k3xUQmbcALdMsBcuparX2HshMAD88uXRF_mrhDLi6w7DT2JdJBd7Zc6rabFQtDcgaMXAWHiZpPBaJG_/s320/wackiness.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5201135861977788658" /></a> Lexi has only been here for an evening, and look at all the craziness she is already getting into with Leo. <br /><br />It is going to be quite the week.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-52562007510092473902008-05-14T07:23:00.003-04:002008-05-14T07:26:44.909-04:00J. Kahn Apologizes in Advance to the Author for the Following Book Review.<a href="http://www.scq.ubc.ca/a-review-of-%e2%80%9cmolecular-regulation-of-23a2-skeletal-myoblast-differentiation-and-apoptosis%e2%80%9d-by-dr-margot-freer/">A REVIEW OF “MOLECULAR REGULATION OF 23A2 SKELETAL MYOBLAST DIFFERENTIATION AND APOPTOSIS” BY DR. MARGOT FREER.</a>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-39648992019480284592008-05-12T15:16:00.009-04:002008-05-12T15:43:19.038-04:00Ignore the Helpless Pleas of The Carrots and Radishi.For sometime I have been eating as a vegetarian. This came about as a result of a number of important facts, i.e.<br /><br /><strong>Fact</strong> The amount of grain that cattle consume could feed all of the currently starving poor. <br /><br />Sometimes people challenge my statistics. So I throw red paint on them and yell, "Murderer!" This is because if I am not morally superior because of my food choices I really have nothing going for me, superiority-wise. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEEvBeO62J2_KJwtDfv4aQcJe1T9MrOnNGk8PUF2rBLr9Q6Rrfnw0cw_uEhIDMhwB1P-F3iN6a87r47IT0A7z9rdtMPe634HBEutO8TMx6E2S9dtxQvmxie43BhssT_pMxuA9B/s1600-h/food.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEEvBeO62J2_KJwtDfv4aQcJe1T9MrOnNGk8PUF2rBLr9Q6Rrfnw0cw_uEhIDMhwB1P-F3iN6a87r47IT0A7z9rdtMPe634HBEutO8TMx6E2S9dtxQvmxie43BhssT_pMxuA9B/s320/food.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5199572846069362914" /></a> One of the great challenges of being a vegetarian is finding cheap, nutritious food that doesn't require a wife to prepare. <br /><br />Recently I have stumbled upon pop rocks. It meets all of the basic requirements, while also serving to boost your brain power. Nourished by weeks of pop rocks I created a culinary masterpiece. <br /><br /><strong>BONUS FUN VEGETARIAN SALAD RECIPE</strong><br /><br />1/3 cup of Lettuci<br />1 Gaggle of Radishi<br />1/5 cup of coleslaw<br />1 tablespoon of diced mint<br />1 lb of turnii<br />1/2 cup of croutons<br />3 lbs of pop rocks<br />A Cow (skinned) <br />1 cup of tablespooni<br />1 tomato <br />1 cup of other vegetables.<br /><br /><br />Mix Together! <br />Serve! <br />Eat!Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-70949030061731217132008-04-25T19:46:00.008-04:002008-04-26T09:46:04.834-04:00People I Meet At the Coffee Shop from 9:00-5:00, Monday-Friday.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCut85qVlASYArf6pfdUMK16VvpUpJhW0RqBGFlD_ADqNcslnL-sroCQL1-4DqBGMuhdu779orlKt2CLrwyqviXzibLJCu1ttaHCGIMNtWR2EpCxA3MQvNrnFdbzIoizEUVvWu/s1600-h/golem.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCut85qVlASYArf6pfdUMK16VvpUpJhW0RqBGFlD_ADqNcslnL-sroCQL1-4DqBGMuhdu779orlKt2CLrwyqviXzibLJCu1ttaHCGIMNtWR2EpCxA3MQvNrnFdbzIoizEUVvWu/s320/golem.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5193347904757232226" /></a><br />Q: <strong>True or False?</strong> all Regular Mid-Day Coffee Shop Patrons are unemployed, crazy or have leprosy? <br /><br />A: True. <br /><br />Which is why I figured that I should talk to them so as to get some blogging ideas. <br /><br />Today, I met an elderly man, who is apparently retired. He was, he said, a retired doctor who devoted himself to Jewish Mysticism. <br /><br />I asked him what sorts of works he was reading, and he said it wasn't entirely a question of reading. <br /><br />"But I want you to read this." He gave me a photocopied packet. "Keep it."<br /><br />"Well," I said. <br /><br />He excused himself. <br /><br />I read the article and here is a line from it "The danger is not that the golem…will develop overwhelming powers ;it lies in the tension which the creative process arouses in the creator himself.”Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-83545618895344415632008-03-18T20:01:00.005-04:002008-03-18T20:19:31.424-04:00Oh, The Secrets I Could Tell You, But Won't Because I'm Just So Very Conscientious.While on one of my daily visits to the grocery store I become concerned with what <br />happened to some of my favorite veggie-substitute products.<br /><br />I don't know exactly why I need to buy veggie burgers and veggie monkey brains, but it makes me happy. <br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXo8L1qBqJX7_mGNgeDDjXFumO19HBvDi6nj-1edTw1i4pGJc4g8SNlROgXyJXd0Lx6n0vXGLwlVsKysI49YzEze98gDH_bInlpMIKxyWe52NRkpCmJXrsUpOXxoBezT9sAK2Y/s1600-h/grocery_bag.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXo8L1qBqJX7_mGNgeDDjXFumO19HBvDi6nj-1edTw1i4pGJc4g8SNlROgXyJXd0Lx6n0vXGLwlVsKysI49YzEze98gDH_bInlpMIKxyWe52NRkpCmJXrsUpOXxoBezT9sAK2Y/s320/grocery_bag.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5179236362033566482" /></a><br /><br />So, I asked the cashier what happened to the Morning Star Products. <br /><br />She leaned in, <em>actually they are making the {Our Store} Brand</em>. <br /><br /><em>But I shouldn't even be telling you that</em>.<br /><br />I just looked at her. <br /><br />Yet, deep down I knew that she was right. That's why I can't tell you what store, or what brand. But if I could tell anyone, it would be You. <br /><br />Honestly, that just scratches the surfaces. I have secrets about how to improve your golf swing and how to know if S/He likes you and friends and family and the economy and work and the future and the lives of bees and my Own Personal Emotional Highs and Lows. <br /><br />But like the proverbial grocer I really shouldn't tell you of such things.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-62883621993356251762008-03-12T08:57:00.003-04:002008-03-12T09:03:35.174-04:00Yet More of the Worst Spring Break Ever.My whole life consists of grading papers, because honestly finding a non-leaking pen isn't that hard. <br /><br />To cheer myself up, I decided to commission a portrait of me grading papers. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWlNc5rhtIwemi0KH2myEI8zHxcudKFKvfSDPNXYiSwpJWM6-4T4PspxKkBep33ULR7P6K_onjo8etb-NpEwlRq-xYRbpQ1QhY8u66H7pZ_hZE9GPFdDb65qwF3lEYBubRMhM5/s1600-h/StJustin.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWlNc5rhtIwemi0KH2myEI8zHxcudKFKvfSDPNXYiSwpJWM6-4T4PspxKkBep33ULR7P6K_onjo8etb-NpEwlRq-xYRbpQ1QhY8u66H7pZ_hZE9GPFdDb65qwF3lEYBubRMhM5/s320/StJustin.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5176838657885868802" /></a><br /><br />It is a good likeness, I think.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-1932413697463722752008-03-10T12:40:00.002-04:002008-03-10T13:53:19.791-04:00The Worst Spring Break Ever.This morning two pens, leaked in my shirt pocket. <br /><br />Call me a polytheist, but I believe that I have angered the fashion gods, due to maybe not paying homage to them. <br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSnKjfJUn8-2LD9vixGtzp8ptB2OHcx2-aZaxPpMwL37yMvIKW_mYJx5ElRHgeITHe_f1F-fjxV5UK725D0YupopbQ5EkVYSameGIzNkoDJvfJt76jb9jvtYlqp0XNVSlYkcST/s1600-h/HolyShirt.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSnKjfJUn8-2LD9vixGtzp8ptB2OHcx2-aZaxPpMwL37yMvIKW_mYJx5ElRHgeITHe_f1F-fjxV5UK725D0YupopbQ5EkVYSameGIzNkoDJvfJt76jb9jvtYlqp0XNVSlYkcST/s320/HolyShirt.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5176170343794742002" /></a><br /><br />On the upside, I will have a legitimate excuse, when I return to school. I.E.,<em>Tried,to grade papers, but ran out of ink.</em>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-28955062915043139742008-03-08T21:08:00.006-05:002008-03-08T21:20:13.900-05:00In Which Justin Uses the B Word to Describe the Subject of a Previous Post.No doubt, you will recall with fondest memories, my post in which I joked around with Mother Nature about dumping batteries in a lake just to mess with her. <br /><br />She clearly didn't like it, and like the great big baby that she is, decided to respond. <br /><br />My roses, which I placed outside just three days ago, can be seen here:<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6b-quUHDCMxhJOI5O5jL485KkFb2fzoVXr14QriMxLScYLLdewsA4QIMPqIRbp550EqCO7okYh42OdxRXgStmu65LSX9QuqUFO30b2itO5lrYQs2ChQ0D_kc3a_fXj_HlMEVm/s1600-h/myroses.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6b-quUHDCMxhJOI5O5jL485KkFb2fzoVXr14QriMxLScYLLdewsA4QIMPqIRbp550EqCO7okYh42OdxRXgStmu65LSX9QuqUFO30b2itO5lrYQs2ChQ0D_kc3a_fXj_HlMEVm/s320/myroses.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5175558594422903506" /></a><br /><br />If that doesn't earn Mother Nature the name of belligerent, I don't know what does. <br /><br />Anyway enough chatting, I have to dig Leo out:<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7sgK2iCkgdSB3Or6R5w7Q4_YpAPnuZ495YWEygtH6I4vzIqNriXRgG7WCd9oH4VvrMF4BaWYK4FofGiskHGq2ryH4KRGRc9gKMcG6jmZsrKX68bnztLqBDXEXBvRU2dUJxWZ6/s1600-h/leo.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7sgK2iCkgdSB3Or6R5w7Q4_YpAPnuZ495YWEygtH6I4vzIqNriXRgG7WCd9oH4VvrMF4BaWYK4FofGiskHGq2ryH4KRGRc9gKMcG6jmZsrKX68bnztLqBDXEXBvRU2dUJxWZ6/s320/leo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5175559427646558946" /></a>Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-11374216067644375122008-03-03T20:56:00.003-05:002008-03-03T21:08:41.348-05:00“Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed."For years I have said the two greatest threats to humanity are 1)Electronic Publishing classes 2) Rebecca Spagnuolo and 3) an inability to grasp basic mathematical principles. <br /><br />Imagine my surprise when the first four of the above resulted in, what is<a href="http://www.personal.kent.edu/~ssimpso6/"> maybe the greatest blog to come out of the Kent region</a>. Ever.<br /><br />And I don't think I'm biased here, just because this blog has a link to my blog through a picture of me. <br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwCaaCX2ya-d7RpbNN5ZbGnXeidkkqPbafv04k5YBB5N6mAMRzLa5emcJNadQDy7NZ8Oen3oULBCSQGl9r6ra23gDMTf8XeWZ9TB1jE2_GranTbCCjDhQpyBV0HxaRjuzJtGae/s1600-h/IrishJ.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwCaaCX2ya-d7RpbNN5ZbGnXeidkkqPbafv04k5YBB5N6mAMRzLa5emcJNadQDy7NZ8Oen3oULBCSQGl9r6ra23gDMTf8XeWZ9TB1jE2_GranTbCCjDhQpyBV0HxaRjuzJtGae/s320/IrishJ.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5173699695556038018" /></a><br /><br />After all that link comes at no small cost: Why must Shannon past a goofy face on my handsome body?Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-66102743799928724732008-03-02T11:23:00.004-05:002008-03-02T15:33:10.120-05:00In Which Justin Is Once Again Punished by the Universe For Being Virtuous.I have some amazing posts for you guys. Unfortunately they all require the use of my camera. <br /><br />But my camera requires batteries. <br /><br />And here is the kicker: Because I love mother earth more than my own life, I buy rechargeable batteries. But here is what those tree huggers in the battery industry don't tell you: <em>The battery recharger is very hard to keep track of</em>. <br /><br />I could have sworn it was in my home office, near the dart board. But it isn't: Neither is it behind the toilet tank, or in the dishwasher. I have no idea where else it could be. <br /><br />So I am going to go out and buy me some batteries. And then I am going to dump them in the river, just to make the point to mother nature. <br /><br />And then I am going to buy more batteries, load up my camera, and post some of the most amazing, mother earth-shattering posts ever.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-13858351428625039782008-02-20T16:11:00.007-05:002008-02-20T16:26:59.155-05:00The Unapologetic Reception of Sly Kahn.News of my <a href="http://withsmallhands.blogspot.com/2008/02/see-what-amazing-friend-i-am.html">38th Triumphant Return is Everywhere.</a> This is as it should be. But it has also made think hard, about how much better than my triumphant returns--at least when compared with the body building mentally deficient set. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgAF3qMMj3kHFqE6w6R49a7-N8B6RW-IaojihvOyYG0oT4dMq2_rvkw5gdBnHhTidthro3GXLmc6FxqKPwfwN-lBDhukC6NoCGxYkGi79JOaeg-_MtRxUfeqouPIBd5id7SWMa/s1600-h/Rocky-flag-FP1731-l.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgAF3qMMj3kHFqE6w6R49a7-N8B6RW-IaojihvOyYG0oT4dMq2_rvkw5gdBnHhTidthro3GXLmc6FxqKPwfwN-lBDhukC6NoCGxYkGi79JOaeg-_MtRxUfeqouPIBd5id7SWMa/s320/Rocky-flag-FP1731-l.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5169173024407257586" /></a> Virtually everyone I know has seen the most recent Stallone films. And most everyone I know, begins by admitting that they saw Rocky XVI or Rambo VXIII with a profuse apology, <br /><br /><em>"No, I know, but I grew up on those movies..."</em><br /><br />Or <br /><em><br />"I have always displayed a propensity for making poor life choices, but it looked so good..." </em><br /><br />But COI enthusiasts need no such apologies.<br /><br />In fact, based on this week's reception they feel no need to comment in any sort of way.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16811852.post-33477347713967701512008-02-18T08:17:00.000-05:002008-02-17T20:32:20.763-05:00"Short Posts Are Good" Week: The 38th Unexpected Return of Justin.I put a dart board in my home office, where I write, thinking that if I needed a distraction from my writing, I could always play a game of darts. <br /><br />I spend 8 or 9 hours a day in my office. <br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz6NuV8PCoDsQaDdfL67jawOkEhbJ_kV-_elIu9RDqqRKcBaDgVK1SDQN3XiTVYXU8Q9RHgo-Ol9KeZu30sUDq1bVYP_fK09iCSnu_yXU3TcQRRAMfxfaW_S6tOMzXMPZwGc8q/s1600-h/ontarget.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz6NuV8PCoDsQaDdfL67jawOkEhbJ_kV-_elIu9RDqqRKcBaDgVK1SDQN3XiTVYXU8Q9RHgo-Ol9KeZu30sUDq1bVYP_fK09iCSnu_yXU3TcQRRAMfxfaW_S6tOMzXMPZwGc8q/s320/ontarget.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5168124820458799586" /></a> <br /><br />I haven't written a thing since my previous post, but I am getting really good at darts.Justinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16671874289782896692noreply@blogger.com10