I love the Smell of Napalm during Valentine’s Week.

Is there anything better than Valentine’s Day?

I think not. Unless it is Valentine’s Week.

To kick off this week, I rented a movie based on Joseph Conrad's 'Heart of Darkness." I thought it was going to be a romantic comedy with its delightful juxtaposition of 'heart' and 'darkness.' The movie, Apocalypse Now, is not the most romantic of comedies.

Silly me!

I seem to pick out movies on a sixth grader level.

Anyway, I can't encourage you enough to do something to get in the spirit of this week.

Here's a funny little joke, I like to play. I tell a lady friend how lonely I am, ask her to be my valentine and than mock her if she says yes. "Ha! I was totally joking! I don't even have the slightest emotional connection with you."

Not funny?

Well, I don't really do that. But girls seem to think it funny when they pull that on me.

"Like I could ever be involved with a man of your spelling abilities!"

Oh, the horror!

Anyway, don't worry about ol' conceptofirony being alone. I've gotten some amazing matches on eharmony.

Perhaps some day I will be able to say with Martin Sheen's character in Apocalypse Now: “I was going to the worst place in the world…and I didn’t even know it.”

Oh, the horror!